Jim Dollar's Photography and Philosophy

Sex can be a lot of fun,
but it can also get in the way.

Sex has no necessary connection 
with intimacy--
though it is often referred to 
as "an intimate relationship."

Too often, it is a way of avoiding intimacy.
We go to sex to keep from being known.
Being known in the Biblical sense
is being concealed in the psychological/emotional sense.
We will resort to anything
to keep from being exposed/revealed--
when the true goal of life
is to exhibit/reveal/incarnate/disclose/make known
who we are and what we are about,
what is ours to do.
Hiding from that is detrimental 
to our health and well-being,
and the end of life,
though we might remain 98.6 and ambulatory for years.

Intimacy is being seen, heard, known,
to the heart and core of our being.
Few of us have ever experienced 
that kind of intimacy.
Yet, without it, we remain an enigma to ourselves.

We have to be seen in a way
that enables/allows us to see ourselves.
To be heard in a way
that enables/allows us to hear ourselves.
To be known in a way
that enables/allows us to know ourselves.

Psychotherapy can do that,
but the ease with which psycotherapy
goes over into sex (Transference and Counter-transference)
is evidence of the blurry nature of the line
between intimacy and sex.
And in which knowing and being known
can be the heart of a thoroughly healthy
sexual relationship.
But, sex can also knock us off the track/path
and out of the flow of knowing ourselves
and being true to who we are 
and what is ours to do.

Everything about sex and intimacy 
invites/requires/demands
inquiry/investigation/examination/exploration/
awareness/enlightenment/illumination...
so that we are not kidding ourselves,
or telling ourselves what we want to hear.

This gets us to the most important thing:
Enlightenment/illumination/awareness/seeing/hearing/
knowing/understanding/doing/being.

If we aren't doing that--
if everything we say and do is not
an aspect of that--
we are kidding ourselves
and concealing from ourselves
the truth of our own being/doing.

How do we knock ourselves off track?
We have to be alert to all the ways,
and catch ourselves in the act
of blind-siding ourselves,
using that as an entry point 
in unveiling another layer of refusing
to face the truth of who we are
and what is ours to do.

We are our own worst enemy,
and have to be alert to our own tricks
of self-deception
all of the time.

–0–

We know what the truth is.
And hide from it,
pretending we don't know.
And here we are.

We know what we know,
and what we think we know,
and opt for what we think we know
because what we know
asks hard things of us.

"We can't handle the truth"
(Col Nathan R. Jessup),
because it asks us to do things
we do not want to do.
Like grow up.
And we like to think
we are doing just fine as we are.

Our life asks hard things of us,
like grow up.
We want to remain as infants,
with someone taking care of us
and telling us what to do,
removing the responsibilities
incumbent upon those who know
what's what 
and what needs to be done about it,
but oblivious to those who know only
what they think they know
and like it that way.

So, here's what's what:
We have to know what we know,
and know that we know it,
whether we want to or not.

We have to know the difference 
between knowing what we know
and thinking we know--
and catching ourselves in the act
of thinking we know what we are doing
and stop.

Empty ourselves of all "knowing,"
enter the stillness and the silence
of waiting/watching/listening
for realization to arise/emerge/appear/
occur to us.

This is enlightenment/illumination--
knowing what we know,
and what is called for
here/now within the field of action
in each situation as it arises--
for the goodness/joy of doing it,
and the satisfaction of having done it
alone.

–0–

We step off the beam
when we begin to calculate
our advantage,
think about what we stand to gain,
and plot our strategy
with our best interests in mind.

As though we know what our best interests are.

We step back on the beam,
when we catch ourselves
in the act of being crafty
and sly in our behalf,
say something on the order of
"What do you think you are doing?"
Nod, and reply,
"Slipped again."
Do the breathe in, breathe out,
count to five exercise
five times,
tune into the emptiness,
the stillness
and the silence,
and take up the way again.

–0–