Jim Dollar's Photography and Philosophy

There is wanting 
what we want to want,
and there is wanting
what we ought to want,
and there is wanting 
what someone else wants us to want.

What variety of wanting
is the wanting
we want most of the time?

The spiritual life
is linking our wanting
with the wanting we ought to want
via our intrinsic intuition.

Our intrinsic intuition
wants us to want
what we ought to want
all of the time.

Like Adam and Eve
in the Garden of Eden,
we serve a different idea
most of the time.

That would be our idea
of what is worth wanting.

Spirituality is all about
aligning ourselves
with the wanting of our
intrinsic intuition -- 
or, as it is sometimes called,
"God's will for our life."

"God" is experienced
as intrinsic intuition.

Intrinsic intuition is experienced
as "God with us"
throughout our life.

When we live at one
with our intrinsic intuition,
we are living at one with "God."
Or/and at one with the "Tao."
Etc.

It doesn't matter if there is
a Super Cosmic Intuition "out there,"
our intrinsic intuition is our link
with all the intuition there may be.

Which is to say,
when we are at one with our
intrinsic intuition,
we are at one with the intrinsic intuition
of everyone who is at one with their
intrinsic intuition.

Like ants at one with the entire 
mound of ants.
Like bees at one with the entire
hive of bees.
Like birds at one with the entire
flock of birds.
Like fish at one with the entire
school of fish...

You know, like that.

Intrinsic intuition connects us all
with all of those who are capable
of being connected with us
through the experience of intrinsic intuition.

The catch is that the moment
we begin doing what we want
and not what we ought to want,
we break the connection,
and we are wandering 
through the wasteland on our own.

Such is the meaning of 
"Thy will, not mine be done."

To say that and mean it
is to divest ourselves of doing what we want
at the expense of what we ought to want
all our life long.

To say that and mean is
is to bring an immediate end
to life as we know it
throughout the world and the cosmos.

It is a terrible thing
to fall into the hands
of the living God
(Of our intrinsic intuition).

Fishing was an escape
from a world I did not begin to comprehend.

Fishing allowed me to catch my breath,
to breathe easy,
without worrying about 
keeping up
or lagging behind,
or making someone happy,
or knowing what I was doing
or what I was going to be
when I grew up.

I could step out of that world
of stress beyond managing
and fish.

That made stepping back into
that world manageable
until it became too much,
then it was off to some lake
to restore my soul and breathe.

All of that was unconscious,
un-thought, unrecognized,
but it is as though it were scripted
into my late childhood to early adulthood years.

How does anyone do it without a get-away?
I cannot imagine.
I had to have something to balance
the madness of my life,
and it was fishing.

And then it was photography.
I remember well the transition point.
I was cleaning a fish for our family dinner,
and realized I had cleaned enough fish.
And that was that.

About that time--probably my junior year in college--
I was walking through the house
and a made-for-TV movie was playing
as I went into the room
with a 35mm camera on a poolside table,
and I fell in love with that camera on the spot.

I wish I had had a clearer understanding
of what was happening,
but it was like someone had pushed me into the pool,
and I had to figure out how to swim 
my way into knowing what the camera was about.

Guidance would have been helpful,
but my entire life lacked guidance.
No one in my life knew much more than I did.
So, I took what I could use
wherever I found it
and kept looking,
mostly in books written by people 
who knew more than the people I knew.
And I'm still doing that.
And am glad to be able to.

But fishing saved my life,
and bought me time.

This 23 inch tall seated Buddha carries with it the authority and simplicity of the spirit of the person it personifies. It is a prefect replica of the seated Buddha under the Bodhi Tree, empty of fear, of desire, of duty, letting the world go by, knowing that he has all he needs to get up and do what needs to be done in each situation as it arises for nothing more than the joy of doing it and the satisfaction of having done it–in the form of his original nature, the inherent virtues/virtuosities that constitute what he does best and what he enjoys doing most, and his intrinsic intuition that sees into the heart of every matter, knows what’s what and what is called for, and when, where and how it is called for, enabling him to act spontaneously, from the heart at the right time, in the right place, in the right way, and thus personifying him as The Buddha, The Enlightened One, The One Who knows, through all of time. Amen. May it be so. For those who aspire to a similar way of being alive to and present with all that comes our way. Always and forever. Aum mani padme hum…

–0–

Prayers to an Unknown God

In the silence that waits for us to know what's what,
we know only what we have been told to know
and what we want,
but what wants us, we haven't a clue.
And so we pray to the silence:

Teach us to be quiet and still,
empty and open
to all that is with us here, now,
waiting for us to be receptive
to the wonder of not-knowing-
and-knowing-that-we-know-not.

Help us to be as empty as the space between breaths,
as unknowing as a baby fresh from the womb,
as open as the sky beyond the earth
and the cosmos beyond the sky,
as reflective as a puddle of water,
as present as the flame with the candle,
as simple as a smile,
as intent as a bird looking for material to build a nest,
as plain as a shadow,
as still as the night,
true to our original nature,
aware of our inherent virtues/virtuosities,
at one with our intrinsic intuition,
that we might know what we know
about what's what
and what is called for,
and do what needs to be done
in each situation as it arises,
for the joy of doing it
and the satisfaction of having done it,
with the gifts at our disposal,
and nothing at stake in the outcome
beyond being at one with the wonder of life and being,
dancing with the day's deliveries
now and forever.
Amen. Amen.

–0–

The story of the Garden of Eden
is the metaphor of humanity. 

D.T. Suzuki said that enlightenment 
may be thought of "habitual intuition."

Intuition has been our guide from the beginning.

Now, think of God in the Garden of Eden story
as our intuition.

We are born with an intrinsic intuition 
that wants things one way,
but we want things a different way.
And we are engaged all our life 
in a struggle with our intuition
over how we are going to live.

The results of that struggle are apparent on all sides.

This is not a world we can live in,
but this is a world that is the outcome
of generations of human beings having their way
at the expense of their intuition's guidance 
and direction!

To have a word we can live it,
we have to sacrifice what we want
in the service of our intuition's desires for us.

We all know this is not going to happen--
certainly not in a corporate way.

A few of us will align ourselves 
with our intuition's will for us
in every generation,
but we will always be on the margins
of society/culture,
and won't have the kind of impact we need to have
on the powers leading the course
of life in the world,
to make things different than they are.

Say good-bye to any form of Eden,
and say hello to all aspects of the Wasteland.

–0–

Jesus didn't have any more of a plan
than I do,
than the Buddha did.

"Get in there and do your thing,
and don't worry about the outcome,"
isn't much of a way to change the world.

And has never done much to change the world,
so far as I can tell.

A lot of people are talking about
Jesus and the Buddha,
but in terms of raising the quality of life
on the earth,
with fewer wars
and less suffering/anxiety
and more comfort and security,
I don't see any evidence of that.

More doing it like it ought to be done?
I think not.

Talk leaves things as they are.
Vulnerable to Donald Trump of all people.
Donald Trump is more of a threat to the world
than Jesus and the Buddha and I combined are 
a boon to the world,
and that is for sure.

Greed and the quest for power and control
are more of a threat to the world 
than compassion, empathy and charity
are a vision of hope for the world.
And that hasn't changed over time.

Lao Tzu spent his life
in the service of his idea
of world peace,
and at the end
went off in disgust to the west to die.

World peace isn't much of a draw.

I will note this in his behalf:
Lao Tzu went off to the west in disgust,
not despair.

Neither Jesus nor the Buddha 
died in despair.

They were true to their vision
to the end.

And that, I think, 
is the way to do it.

Get in there and do your thing,
and don't worry about the outcome!

We will meet in the west
to honor one another
for a life well-lived!
Never mind its impact.

–0–

Listening to our body
is listening to our intuition
speaking to us though our body.

Intuition is a Right Brain process,
and the Right Brain isn't much for language--
so it speaks with images in our dreams,
and with physical symptoms and sensations,
trying to get our attention
and our cooperation.

Everybody knows what the "Uh-oh Feeling" is.
Where is that located in your body?
Several places, perhaps.

Our body is the playground of intuition,
and intuition is our secret power
for navigating the trials and ordeals of life.
Learning the language of intuition
puts us in its service
and provides us with guidance and direction
through the heaving waves of the wine-dark sea.

Practicing being with emptiness, stillness and silence
is practicing being open and available to
intuition and imagination
in service to our original nature
and our inherent virtues/virtuosities
(What we do best and enjoy doing most)
in doing what is called for in each situation as it arises,
all our life long.

No one could ask more of us than that.

–0–

The foundation of theology is 
"I And Thou."

The foundation of spirituality without theology is
"Thou Art That."

The movement is from relationship
to identification/inclusion.

The movement to identification/inclusion
is grounded in the realization
of the oneness of all things.

That oneness is experienced
by consciously reflecting on
the "Zone of Confusion"
that exists between the "I" and the "Not I,"
or the "I Am" and the "I Am Not."

And exploring the question
"In what ways is the 'I Am' one with the 'I Am Not'?"

The lines separating us begin to blur
at some point
and become indistinguishable
the closer we look.
Or the farther away we get.

Chaos disappears as we get closer
and as we get farther away.
So does the Zone of Confusion.
As we get closer and farther apart,
oneness is increasingly difficult to declare.

At what point are we two?
At what point are we one?
It all depends upon our point of view.
How we look determines what we see.

When Jesus declared,
"The Father and I are One,"
he was not saying anything
everyone could not say.

Duality is apparent only within a limited range.
Move closer or farther away
and the lines of separation merge
and disappear.

Theology is a narrow point of view.

We expand it in emptiness, stillness and silence
in the present company of our original nature,
our inherent virtues/virtruosities,
and our intrinsic intuition--
knowing that we are one with every living thing
in these aspects of existence,
and in many others as well--
and allow our awareness in these areas
to deepen and expand over time,
so that the silence becomes a threshold
to oneness with all things in our imagination.

Before you know it,
imagined reality becomes
indistinguishable from the real thing.

The Taoist, Zen, and Buddhist masters lead the way here.

What we experience as real
may as well be real.
No?

–0–

Hermeneutics is at the heart of who I am.
From the Greek word "Hermes," the messenger of the gods. 
The Roman name for whom is "Mercury."

As Hermes, the Master of Interpretation, Knowing what's what and what matters most,
Hearing, seeing, understanding, knowing, doing, being...

As Mercury, Trickster, play-on-word master, who cannot be pined down,locked up, explained, known, defined, made plain and real...

Bringing all of that together in "Hermeneutics."

My kind of gig.

Saying what cannot be said.
Laughing at the very idea.
Trying to keep a straight face
as though I know what I'm doing.
Seeing what I can get by with.
Seeing what I can see...
As though it is essential--
because it is!

–0–

It comes down to what we make of it.
To what we do with it.
To who we become because of it.

We are it.
It is us.
Where does that line lie?

And my death,
our death,
is a continuation of it.
It goes on.
And on, and on...

And so do we--
in an altered state of being,
but we are a form of energy,
a collection of various forms of energy,
psychic energy, 
karmic energy,
kinetic energy,
thermal energy,
electrical energy,
radiant energy...
and energy cannot be created or destroyed,
only transformed or converted.

What form shall our conversion take?
That is the mystery
we wait to experience,
and to spend any time pondering it
is to waste the time that is ours
in this incarnation.
Why do that?
Why not spend our time exploring,
examining,
investigating,
probing,
inquiring,
experimenting,
intuiting,
reflecting,
realizing,
and making the most of the time at hand?

What would "making the most
of the time at hand" mean for you?

–0–

How to see what we look at,
how to look at what we see...
The essence of hermeneutics,
the foundation of life and being,
realization, sanity, stability and wonder.

Lost in too much talking,
explaining,
instruction,
words and noise.

The days keep coming.
I try to minimize the impact
of one damn day after another
by staying out of the way,
making it find me.

I reduce my vulnerability
by limiting my exposure.
I don't ask for it.
Silence and solitude, kid.
Silence and solitude.

Silence and solitude
make the days work for their pleasure.
It helps to be unemployed.

Compassion also helps.
Compassion for the damn day.

A damn day's life can't be easy,
especially after all these years.
I don't care how much it might enjoy
delivering pain, anguish, sorrow and misery--
after a while that has to become burdensome.
The damn days have to long for a break
in the same wearisome routine.
They don't get a damn day off.

I take that into account
and imagine them needing a vacation,
wondering what they would do
with a week away from business as usual.

–0–