Lao Tzu, who wrote the book,
couldn’t say what The Tao is,
beyond “The Way.”

He said it can be experienced/known,
but no one can say what it is.

The same can be said of Grace.
We all have had experiences with Grace at work in our life.
We can say what happened,
but we can’t say what caused it to happen,
or what we can do to influence its happening,
and know we can’t do anything
to get it to happen on schedule,
coming in and out on cue
to the delight and amazement of all.

We can’t say what Dharma is
beyond “The teachings of the Buddha,”
or “The teachings about the Buddha,”
or “Our original nature and virtues,”
but when we are somehow
aligned with it,
things go better --
though not necessarily better for us,
but for the situation as a whole--
than when we are not.
But how that happens,
or what the mechanism is behind its happening,
is a complete mystery.

The same thing goes with Synchronicity.
Carl Jung coined the term,
calling it “a meaningful coincidence,”
and “an acausal connecting principle.”
But, he couldn’t say why or how it happened,
or what controlled the time and place
of its appearance,
or how many times it might be expected
to return in anyone’s life.

Sheldon Kopp said, “Somethings can be experienced,
but not understood.
And, some things can be understood,
but not explained.”

The ground of religion as we know it
is encounters of this kind.
We experience the Tao,
Grace,
Dharma,
Synchronicity,
and tell ourselves things
to make sense of the experiences.

Theology is created in this way,
and doctrine,
and dogma,
and ideology…
It all comes right out of our imagination,
as does every artificial thing in the physical universe.
We make it all up
to suit ourselves,
because we experience things
we cannot comprehend,
and we want to be able
to control the mysterious power
of the Unknown.

We create the rules of creation
and become its Masters.
And, here we are.

What if we had taken a different tack?
Gone in a different direction?
Along a different Way?
Say, by simply sitting with the experience
and waiting to see where it led,
and how our life might unfold
around it over the full course of our living?

Instead of trying to control the experience,
placing ourselves in its service,
and seeking what it might be calling us to do?

What if it is not too late to give that a try?

02

Improving our relationship with ourselves
improves our relationship with our life
and with the people in our life,
spontaneously,
automatically,
naturally.

Carl Jung said,
"There is within each of us,
another,
whom we do not know."

It is not too late
to begin getting to know
who we also are.

Getting to know who we also are
is getting to know who we are.

We begin by setting aside our opinions
about who we are.
We do that by not doing it.
We do all of the important things
by not doing them.
It's a curiosity
how to do something 
by not doing it.
It is the most important thing
to know how to do.
We do it
by not doing it.

The trick with doing things 
by not doing them
is getting out of the way
and letting them happen
in their own time,
in their own way.
Which means allowing them
to not happen at all
if that's what needs to happen.

The trick is simply being aware
of something that needs to happen
without doing anything about it
beyond being aware of it.

We set aside our opinions 
about who we are
by being aware of them
without engaging them.
By being aware of our thoughts and feelings
without being engaged by them,
without being hijacked by them.
Without being emotionally stirred by them.
Without taking them seriously.
Letting them be part of the envronment
without taking over the scene.

And, if we are emotionally stirred by them,
we become aware of that
without acting on it,
without doing anything about it
beyond being aware of it.
Not taking it seriously,
Not allowing it to take over the scene.
The situation.
The moment.

Hold it all in your awareness,
and let it be because it is,
and simply be with it,
unmoved and unmoving.

That's it.
That's all. 
Carry on with your life.
Doing what needs to be done,
while holding in your awareness
your opinions of yourself
and your reactions to your opinions
without permitting either to take control of your actions,
your life.

Go about your business
as though nothing is going on,
tucking everything into your awareness,
going about your life,
trusting that over time
your opinions of yourself
will lessen
and gradually disappear
by "just happening,"
without you doing anything 
to make it happen.

You are improving your relationship
with yourself
by not doing anything
to improve your relationship with yourself.

You may find yourself 
laughing for no apparent reason,
or smiling more,
or humming as you go about your day.
Signs, perhaps, that things are shifting.

–0–

01

Socked-in 10/28/2006 -- Washington, North Carolina, October 28, 2006

You can start with a game of Solitaire
and create scenarios
that could not have possibly
occurred by chance,
so that the ace of hearts
appears at the very moment
that the two of hearts is uncovered
by the nine of clubs
being moved to cover the ten of diamonds!

Things like that don’t just drop out of the sky!
There is a reason for everything!
Something had to arrange for the precise way
the cards were dealt!
How else can you explain it?

The explanation is that it is a game of chance.
And "chance" is our term 
for a course of events that were locked into place
from before we were born.

When did things have to be the way they are?
From the time our parents were born?
Or from the time we picked up the deck of cards?
Or from the time we shuffle them five times for luck?
Or from the time we cut the stack
and started dealing the hand?

When was "chance" determined 
by the "ordinary course of events"?

Grace works the same way.
The things that "fall into place,"
"for no reason,"
are the things that could not be 
any other way than they are,
given all that has gone before
to bring "grace" to bear on our lives
"out of the blue."

The way things are
is the way things happen to be
because they couldn't be any other way.
If they happen to be meaningful,
it is because we make it so--
because of the way we see things,
interpret things,
look at things,
consider things to be "meaningful"
and "meaningless."

We find meaning (or not) in the way
the cards are played.
In the way two people meet,
fall in love,
and marry,
and say, “It was meant to be!”

By whom?
Why, by God, of course!
(“God” is our way of saying,
“It just happens that way!”).
God arranges everything!
Nothing like love and marriage
could happen by chance!
"It had to be predestined
from all eternity!"
Just like the face that was ours
before our mother and father
were born.

We had rather believe in God
than in chance.
Or strict determination.
If we find meaning in something,
we have to find a reason for it.
We have to posit a long line
of cause and effect with the purpose
of the ace of hearts appearing
exactly when it did.

When it is all a game of chance
that was locked in from--
from when?
The beginning,
or before the beginning?

And what we make of it all
is up to us.
And for what,
or where it is going,
we do not know.
So, we have to keep playing the game,
to see what happens next!
And it all rearranges itself
according to what we do
on a whim,
out of the blue,
for no reason,
and pick up the deck of cards.


Where do whims come from?

What is guiding our boat
on its path through the sea?

I have three questions for you.
They all  can be asked in reverse.
So, that's six questions.
All six are getting at the same thing.

1) What is the nature of your pain?
2) What is the source of your life?
3) What is the source of your pain?
4) What is the nature of your life?
5) What does your pain have to do with your life?
6) What does your life have to do with your pain?

Those six questions are at the heart of Alcohol Anonymous.
And at the heart of what we are seeking.
We are seeking the end of pain
and the beginning of life.
We want to be alive and pain-free.

My favorite Joseph Campbell quote
is one you will hear from me again:

"That which you seek
lies far back in the darkest corner
of the cave you most don't want to enter."

Pain is the price of being alive.

My life is my pain.
I live to ease my pain.
My pain requires me to be alive
in the time and place of my living.
I can't live without facing/feeling my pain.
I can't face/feel my pain without coming to life/being alive.
My pain necessitates my life/living.
My life/living requires me to face/feel my pain.
I have to live my pain.
I have to live the fear of my pain.
I have to dance with my pain
in order to dance with my life.

The source of my pain
is I want/need to be loved.
The nature of my life
is I Love Me!

The Marianne Moore quote comes into play here:
"The cure for loneliness is solitude."

We are what we seek.
We are the cave we most don't want to enter.
We are the answer to all our prayers.
We have what we need
to find what we need
to do what needs us to do it
in each situation as it arises
all our life long.

We only have to trust that it is so
sit still,
wait,
be quiet,
look and listen.

Where do you go to be still,
to sit quietly,
to look and listen?

How long has it been
since you've gone there,
done that?

Why has it been so long?

Are you afraid there is nothing there?

Do  you hate your own company?

Be done with alcohol and marijuana. 
And/or their equivalents.
Stand alone in your company.
What is so hard about your life?
What is the source of your life?
What is the nature of your pain?

Being true to ourselves
requires us to determine--
to decide--
when and where 
to move beyond the self
we have been being
into the self we must become.

Growing up is so very hard to do.

And transition points are hell
all the way to the grave.

Who are we?
Who must we be?
Who is the situation asking us to become?

Those are questions fit for a hero.
And so it is called
"The Hero's Journey."

We have to recognize what the moment
is requiring of us--
see what needs to be done,
what needs us to do it,
and decide
what we are going to do about it,
here and now.

We grow up against our will all the way.

But.
Is this me
or not me
here and now?
Is this the time,
or not the time,
here and now?

We can always do what is not me.
Why Here?
Why Now?
We can always do what is me.
Why not Here?
Why not Now?

These are the choices hero's have to make,
time and time again.

Stop.
Look.
Listen.
See.
Hear.
Wait.
Watch.
Stay out of the way.
Something will happen.
Something will shift.
Some door will open.
You will find yourself walking through
To a future with your name on it.
Let it be.
Because it is.
No looking back.

02

A land where everyone is glad
to be who they are,
and to be doing what was theirs to do,
seeing things as they are, 
knowing what needs to be done 
and doing it in each situation as it arises, 
day in and day out,
all their life long
is found only in the mythical sphere
of the Elysian Fields,
Nirvana, 
The Farther Shore,
Shangri-la,
Camelot...

In this world,
we can only catch glimpses
of that world
in individuals
wh0 have made their peace
with their life
and have settled into 
their place in it,
and stand out in the memories
of all who know them to be 
a comforting incarnation
of the kind of life
that should be available
to everyone
if only, but for...
what?

What is keeping everyone
from having what a few people manage?

The Old Taoists talk about "the ancient ones"
in this light:
the people go back to simple techniques
relish their food,
like their clothes,
are comfortable in their ways,
and enjoy their work.

Neighboring states may be so close
they can hear each other's dogs and roosters,
but the people have no need
to go back and forth
(From the Tao Te Ching, chapter 80).

But "greed and folly,"
"will and desire,"
"cunning and contrivance"
come along to introduce the idea
of personal advantage and gain
into the daily fare,
and people soon are living 
to have what the can't use
in the service of what they don't like
to spend what they don't have
to buy what will be in a landfill in a month or a year...

And it is left to individuals
to separate themselves from the masses
and live from their own core
to honor their own gifts
in building a life around the things
that matter most,
becoming a memory 
in the minds of those who knew them to be
a comforting incarnation
of the kind of life
that should be available
to everyone
if only, but for...
what?
--0--

01

What are you doing?

Whatever it is,
stop and ask yourself,
"What am I doing?"
or, "What do I think I'm doing?"
periodically throughout each day.

As a way of grounding yourself in the moment,
and examining/exploring your actions,
intentions,
practices,
and reflecting on
what you are up to,
about,
serving,
in each moment,
each time and place,
each here and now.

Do not go unconsciously,
mindlessly,
unaware
through a day.

Notice what drives you,
pulls you,
calls you,
directs you,
guides you,
leads you
comforts and protects you
through the daily fare.

In light of what do you live?

Check in from time to time
and find out.

The grounding reality of white supremacy 
is white inferiority.

The grounding reality of hatred 
is a wasteland of emptiness
born of resentment and rage.

The grounding reality of ruthlessness and malicious intent
is fear and aloneness untouched by,
immune to,
distrustful of,
kindness and grace.

You cannot love someone who cannot be loved.
Or better,
loved enough.

Love is not the answer
in terms of giving someone what they need
when their neediness goes infinitely beyond,
and runs counter to,
the requirements of love.

Love requires that we be capable of being loved
and loving.

You cannot be loved
if you cannot be vulnerable.

Marianne Moore said,
"The cure for loneliness is solitude."
Solitude requires us 
to be capable of relationship with ourselves.
Requires us to be able to love ourselves.
Requires us to enjoy the pleasure
of our own company.
Requires us to be loved and loving
by and of ourselves.

Solitude is no cure for the aloneness of soul
that has its origin in the abandonment of self
and the Abomination of Isolation.

Try to fix that with gentleness and compassion, 
a soft heart and tender mercy.
Life cannot make up for 
what living has annihilated.
The empty search in vain
for what they do not have
and cannot be given
because they do not have
what it takes to reciprocate 
with goodness and love.

We cannot love and be loved 
without being loving.

The loving and the loveless
have to acknowledge the nature of their impasse,
and listen to themselves 
telling their stories
with no investment,
or even interest,
in the outcome.

If healing happens,
they witness the miracle.
And if it doesn't,
they keep talking.
Anyway.
Nevertheless.
Even so.