Anything that takes the present moment away from us
is evil.

Anything that brings the present moment vibrantly alive for us
is good.

Anything can take the present moment away from us.

Anything can bring the present moment vibrantly alive for us.

Anything can be evil.

Anything can be good.

The present moment is all there is.

Our relationship with it is the only thing that matters.

Our relationship with the present moment is the pivot point,
the fulcrum,
the place of greatest leverage,
shifting us,
positioning us,
into the center of The Way–
carrying us into the current of the flow of time and place–
opening us to what the situation
is calling for,
and enabling us to be the threshold
between what has been
and what will be.

Our role is to integrate the opposites.
To assimilate the polarities.
To harmonize the world.

We are the Third Way
between mutually exclusive contradictions.

How well we do our work depends upon
the quality of our relationship with the present moment.

The more we have at stake
in the present moment,
the less responsive we can be
to what is called for
and the more invested we will be
in serving a particular outcome
at the expense of all others.

And that is the kink in the hose.

I do not know of any of AA’s slogans
that I take exception to.
And, If I did,
or ever do,
I would/will take that as evidence
of my having not lived long enough
under the right conditions,
and that with a little more time
and a shift in circumstances,
I will see the sharp truth of that one as well.

Which gets us to
“Acceptance is the solution
to all of my problems today.”
Now, I have fun with this one
because 10,000 things
are the solution to all of my problems today.

Growing up, for instance,
or more of the right kind of help,
or less of the wrong kind of help,
but none of this removes the place
of acceptance on the list.
Acceptance is the right kind of help.
Acceptance is evidence of growing up.
Acceptance is front and center
in the long list of things
that would solve all of my problems today.

Which gets us to
nothing happens until we accept things as they are.

“This is the way things are,
and this is what can be done about it,
and that’s that–
and that is the way things are!”

We walk into a situation
and get to work
seeing what’s what
and what is called for
and what we can do about it
with the gifts/genius/daemon/virtues
we bring to the moment,
rising to the occasion
and doing what needs to be done,
moment-by-moment,
situation-by-situation,
all our life long.

And we cannot do that without acceptance
on all levels.

Acceptance is non-judgmental.
Acceptance is without bias.
Acceptance is allowing things to be
what they need to be
and doing what is called for
by the circumstances at hand–
regardless of what that means for us,
or what the neighbors will think,
or any one of the world full of things
that would stop us from doing
what most needs us to do it.

Acceptance is the Prodigal’s father
running to welcome his son home.
Acceptance is the Samaritan
going to the aid of the stranger
in the ditch.
Acceptance holds no grudges,
Plays no favorites.
Does what needs to be done.

We all need to be more accepting
than we are
of our place in life
and of the path before us.

A lot rides on that being the case.

We are here now and want to be somewhere else. Maybe, just anywhere else, and maybe, a clear and specific THERE! NOW! There are two ways to do it. 1) Leave here and go there. 2) Be here, now and see where it goes.

Which option applies to our current situation depends on what is being called for here and now. If we are in an enclosed space and fire breaks out, we have to get somewhere else (THERE) NOW! If we are in the third grade and decide we need to be a doctor, we have to stay here, now, and see where it goes–always choosing the next choice in light of our ultimate destination (Which won’t be a stopping place, but our chosen here and now, still on our way to other here’s and now’s that will open up from our present here and now.

Here and now can be trusted to get us to a reliable and valid here and now if we trust ourselves to it with filial devotion and loyalty, doing what is called for by the situation as it arises with our idea of who we are and what is us and not us firmly in mind.

Matthew McConaughey says that who we are not and what is not “us,” are easier to know that who we are and what is “us.” And that if we only know what to stay away from, that will be guiding us by default to who we are and what is “us.” As we live here and now in light of what we know about who we are and who we are not, we will be setting Karma in motion to deliver us to us throughout the course of our life.

And that’s the way to do it!

–0–

There are so many things that have to happen all at once to transform our life from what it has been to what it needs to be that our old life would collapse and give up under the oppressive weight of utter impossibility. And our new life would delight in the adventure and wonder where to begin.

All journeys–particularly the wonderful ones–begin right here, right now. Orientation and assessment, Kid. Orientation and assessment. The first realization is: We are never going to arrive, anyway, so what’s the hurry? Hurry is the bane of our existence. Hurry keeps things unchanging by its insane insistence that everything change Right Now! Pace and timing, Kid. Pace and timing.

Look around. Take stock. Settle down. Breathe slowly, deeply, quietly. Just be here now. It’s not so bad. Even at its worst, it isn’t so bad. It just takes some getting used to, that’s all. Get used to being here now. It is the only place you will ever be!

“Oh, but I hate it so!” Good thing to know. Start there. What do you hate so about here and now? Sit down with that. Take your time. Make a list. Seriously. Make a list of everything you hate about your life, about being here now. As you write things down, categorize them into two separate lists: Things I want to be happening that are not happening, and Things I don’t want to happen that are happening. This could also be thought of as Things I want to get to and Things I want to get away from. Keep this list going over time, and add to it as things come to mind. This list–these lists–are a grounding, focusing, mirror of you and your life, helping you see things as they are.

This is the first rule of the Journey. See what you look at–look at everything. And the first thing to look at/see is your seeing. No one can see anything without reacting to it in some way. If there is no reaction, there is no seeing. Things are invisible that we do not react to. We literally/actually cannot see them.

Seeing is meaning. We only see the things that mean something to us, good or bad, positive or negative, like or dislike, plus or minus, right or wrong… Distinction is duality and that is the work of consciousness. If it weren’t for distinctions, it would all be a blur of color and texture. We could not see a thing. All of our seeing is evaluative. All of our seeing is feeling. All of our seeing is reactive. In seeing our seeing, we are seeing how judgmental we are. How biased we are. How programed we are to see things in a certain light, in a certain way. We are all products of our culture. Our culture is who we are. Our culture is where we have been, where we have come from, what we bring with us from where we have been into wherever we go. We cannot escape our past. We cannot outlive having had parents, for one thing, and their impact upon us for better and for worse. As with our parents, so with everything. Every influential thing, anyway. We have been impacted for good and for ill from the beginning, throughout our life, and as we begin to see our seeing, we will see the results of that impact over the full course of our life from then to now. We see as we have always seen. Think as we have always thought. Live as we have always lived. And, that is about to change.

It is at this point in our “conversation,” that I have to confess what I am doing to you. I am redeeming you. Saving you. Killing you. Destroying you. Resurrecting you. Death and resurrection, Kid. Death and resurrection. Your new life will eat your old life alive. Everything I say here is really about introducing you to, and inviting you to become a part of, The Church of What’s Happening Now. That is the other half of this web site. “Jim Dollar’s Photography and Philosophy” is about waking you up and bringing you to life by killing you dead, dead, dead to all that has passed for your life up until now.

Transitions are hell. You know all that you hate about your life? You prefer that to what you will have to go through to have another, better, finer life–because better, finer is worse beyond imagining in so many ways. Those of you who are members of AA can relate to this. You have died in a thousand ways in being born again into a life that isn’t killing you. It is a wonderful paradox, as all of our paradoxes are, and it is essential that you realize that, and come along on the Journey from where you have been to where we are going together–insofar as we can go together, because much of the Journey is you alone with the dark night of the soul, trusting me to know what I’m doing and hating me for not leaving you alone by forcing you to be alone, if you know what I mean.

What I mean is: Death and resurrection, Kid. Death and resurrection.

Jump back with me to seeing. We cannot see without evaluating until we begin to see our seeing without judging, finding fault, being disheartened, despairing, desponding, and contemplating suicide. You must promise me you will not take your own life! Actually, dying can seem to be a much better option that metaphorically/abstractly/figuratively/apparently dying. Actual death puts resurrection out of the picture, in spite of what religion tells you. You don’t die physically to be resurrected, you die metaphorically to be resurrected. Metaphorical death means you live to die again and again as you work through where you have been to be where you are. That’s the Journey. We are leaving where we have been to be where we are. And we do that by teaching ourselves to see what we look at without judgment, evaluation or opinion, but with compassion, kindness, good humor, and understanding–letting things simply be what they are because that is how they are, and what do you care, anyway?

Which gets us to caring. But that’s another story. We started this out with, “There are so many things that need to happen all at once…” But, we live in a linear world, or so it seems. We live in two worlds, actually, Yang and Yin. Linear and Non-linear. The actual, physical, tangible, concrete world of logic and reason is Yang, linear, sequential, causal, left-brained… And the metaphorical, abstract, figurative, apparent world is Yin, non-linear, intuitive, creative, holistic, right-brained… And the Journey is from one world to the other, and then, with both worlds simultaneously all the way to the end of the line. We are journeying from where we have been to where we are to where we are going to be when we get there, which is going to be exactly where we are, here and now, only fully aware of where that is and what it is calling for and what we need to do about it–in response to it–moment-by-moment-by-moment, day-by-day, for the rest of our life.

You wouldn’t want to miss that for the world. Because here, now, there is always “another story” and the wonder of that is beyond telling, and can only be experienced to know and understand what it is all about.

The old Alchemists thought they could change the world
to suit themselves
if they could but find
The Philosopher's Stone,
which was their equivalent
to the Elder Wand,
and would serve them
as the threshold to wonders unimagined,
but (with the Stone in hand)
suddenly possible.

Nobody in all the world,
in all the worlds there have been,
has ever wished for
or tried to concoct
a method of changing themselves
to fit joyfully into their surroundings.

People always want to change the world.
They never want to change themselves.

These days, they want to go to the beach
and party
without wearing a mask
or social distancing.

The only way to be safe
is to stay away from everybody else.
But they aren't having it.
They aren't going to live in a world
that isn't how they want it to be.
And they don't care how many people
they kill
on their way out the door.

–0–

My idea of success
is doing what needs to be done
with the resources available--
including those I bring with me
in terms of my Original Nature
and the gifts/genius/daemon/virtues
that are mine to serve/offer--
in each situation as it arises,
in light of all things that need
to be considered,
moment-by-moment-by-moment.


I wish I had realized the importance
of this when I was sixteen years old.

–0–

Caring is "a slippery slope,
a dangerous path,
like the razor's edge."
But.
Don't let that stop you--
or, even slow you down.

Joseph Campbell said
when Native American children
left home to find their way in the world,
their parents would tell them,
"When you step into your life,
in service to your vision,
the birds of the air will shit on you.
Do not pause even to wipe it off!"

Slippery slopes are part of it.
We are treading the Way between Yin and Yang,
remember.
Contradictions are everywhere.
Living our life 
is learning to dance with the contradictions
in each situation as it arises,
all our life long
(Get used to the phrase,
I use it all the time).

(One of my deepest disappointments
in the Church of Our Experience
is the way it discounts, dismisses, ignores and denies
the place of contradiction in our life.
It will not allow them--
certainly not with God.
[Look up "Do You Believe In God,"
in my book I Call This Poetry 
on my https://www.jimwdollar.com companion web site 
on WordPress].
Contradiction becomes Paradox with God.
I have never understood why God is allowed to have Paradoxes,
but not Contradictions.
"That is a great paradox," the spokespersons
for the Church of Our Experience say about things 
they cannot explain.
"We just have to take it on faith that what I'm telling you 
is so, in spite of clear evidence to the contrary").

Contradiction is the heart of Life and Being.
And it is at the heart of That Which Has 
Always Been Called God.

One of the operating principles of existence is:
Truth is found between the hands!
On the one hand this,
and on the other hand that.
Truth is the middle way between
mutually exclusive opposites,
paradoxes,
dichotomies,
contradictions
incongruities--
and is the way of dealing with 
the dissonance at work throughout our life.

We exist to integrate the opposites,
to resolve the paradoxes,
to explore the dichotomies,
to balance the contradictions,
to acknowledge the incongruities,
to harmonize the dissonance--
and to bear the pain of it all--
in the service of being true to ourselves
within the context and circumstances
of our life in the world of time and place.

Caring is good place to start.
We can care too much,
and we can care too little.
We can care in the right way,
and we can care in the wrong way.
We can care about the right things,
and we can care about the wrong things...

Finding the right balance between the contradictions
is as tricky with caring as it is with the rest 
of the 10,000 things
(I want to be the best father in all the world,
and I don't want to be a father at all--
and the same goes for all of the other roles
I am asked to play, etc.).

What is the formula,
the recipe,
the ratios
for perfection?
It changes moment-to-moment,
day-by-day.

We step into each situation as it arises
and feel our way along.
The guiding rule is the same in each one:
Stop!
Look!
Listen!
See!
Hear!
Understand!
Know!
Do!
Be!

Look until you see what you are looking at.
Listen until you hear what is being said.
Understand clearly what's what,
what is happening,
and what needs to be done about it.
Know what the present circumstances
are calling you to do
with the gifts/genius/daemon/virtues
that are yours to serve and to share.
Do what can be done as well as you can do it.
Be ready to repeat this process
in the next moment that is already forming
and about to spring forth.

And don't take any of it more seriously
than is appropriate to the occasion!

Lao Tzu, who wrote the book,
couldn’t say what The Tao is,
beyond “The Way.”

He said it can be experienced/known,
but no one can say what it is.

The same can be said of Grace.
We all have had experiences with Grace at work in our life.
We can say what happened,
but we can’t say what caused it to happen,
or what we can do to influence its happening,
and know we can’t do anything
to get it to happen on schedule,
coming in and out on cue
to the delight and amazement of all.

We can’t say what Dharma is
beyond “The teachings of the Buddha,”
or “The teachings about the Buddha,”
or “Our original nature and virtues,”
but when we are somehow
aligned with it,
things go better --
though not necessarily better for us,
but for the situation as a whole--
than when we are not.
But how that happens,
or what the mechanism is behind its happening,
is a complete mystery.

The same thing goes with Synchronicity.
Carl Jung coined the term,
calling it “a meaningful coincidence,”
and “an acausal connecting principle.”
But, he couldn’t say why or how it happened,
or what controlled the time and place
of its appearance,
or how many times it might be expected
to return in anyone’s life.

Sheldon Kopp said, “Somethings can be experienced,
but not understood.
And, some things can be understood,
but not explained.”

The ground of religion as we know it
is encounters of this kind.
We experience the Tao,
Grace,
Dharma,
Synchronicity,
and tell ourselves things
to make sense of the experiences.

Theology is created in this way,
and doctrine,
and dogma,
and ideology…
It all comes right out of our imagination,
as does every artificial thing in the physical universe.
We make it all up
to suit ourselves,
because we experience things
we cannot comprehend,
and we want to be able
to control the mysterious power
of the Unknown.

We create the rules of creation
and become its Masters.
And, here we are.

What if we had taken a different tack?
Gone in a different direction?
Along a different Way?
Say, by simply sitting with the experience
and waiting to see where it led,
and how our life might unfold
around it over the full course of our living?

Instead of trying to control the experience,
placing ourselves in its service,
and seeking what it might be calling us to do?

What if it is not too late to give that a try?

02

Improving our relationship with ourselves
improves our relationship with our life
and with the people in our life,
spontaneously,
automatically,
naturally.

Carl Jung said,
"There is within each of us,
another,
whom we do not know."

It is not too late
to begin getting to know
who we also are.

Getting to know who we also are
is getting to know who we are.

We begin by setting aside our opinions
about who we are.
We do that by not doing it.
We do all of the important things
by not doing them.
It's a curiosity
how to do something 
by not doing it.
It is the most important thing
to know how to do.
We do it
by not doing it.

The trick with doing things 
by not doing them
is getting out of the way
and letting them happen
in their own time,
in their own way.
Which means allowing them
to not happen at all
if that's what needs to happen.

The trick is simply being aware
of something that needs to happen
without doing anything about it
beyond being aware of it.

We set aside our opinions 
about who we are
by being aware of them
without engaging them.
By being aware of our thoughts and feelings
without being engaged by them,
without being hijacked by them.
Without being emotionally stirred by them.
Without taking them seriously.
Letting them be part of the envronment
without taking over the scene.

And, if we are emotionally stirred by them,
we become aware of that
without acting on it,
without doing anything about it
beyond being aware of it.
Not taking it seriously,
Not allowing it to take over the scene.
The situation.
The moment.

Hold it all in your awareness,
and let it be because it is,
and simply be with it,
unmoved and unmoving.

That's it.
That's all. 
Carry on with your life.
Doing what needs to be done,
while holding in your awareness
your opinions of yourself
and your reactions to your opinions
without permitting either to take control of your actions,
your life.

Go about your business
as though nothing is going on,
tucking everything into your awareness,
going about your life,
trusting that over time
your opinions of yourself
will lessen
and gradually disappear
by "just happening,"
without you doing anything 
to make it happen.

You are improving your relationship
with yourself
by not doing anything
to improve your relationship with yourself.

You may find yourself 
laughing for no apparent reason,
or smiling more,
or humming as you go about your day.
Signs, perhaps, that things are shifting.

–0–

01

Socked-in 10/28/2006 -- Washington, North Carolina, October 28, 2006

You can start with a game of Solitaire
and create scenarios
that could not have possibly
occurred by chance,
so that the ace of hearts
appears at the very moment
that the two of hearts is uncovered
by the nine of clubs
being moved to cover the ten of diamonds!

Things like that don’t just drop out of the sky!
There is a reason for everything!
Something had to arrange for the precise way
the cards were dealt!
How else can you explain it?

The explanation is that it is a game of chance.
And "chance" is our term 
for a course of events that were locked into place
from before we were born.

When did things have to be the way they are?
From the time our parents were born?
Or from the time we picked up the deck of cards?
Or from the time we shuffle them five times for luck?
Or from the time we cut the stack
and started dealing the hand?

When was "chance" determined 
by the "ordinary course of events"?

Grace works the same way.
The things that "fall into place,"
"for no reason,"
are the things that could not be 
any other way than they are,
given all that has gone before
to bring "grace" to bear on our lives
"out of the blue."

The way things are
is the way things happen to be
because they couldn't be any other way.
If they happen to be meaningful,
it is because we make it so--
because of the way we see things,
interpret things,
look at things,
consider things to be "meaningful"
and "meaningless."

We find meaning (or not) in the way
the cards are played.
In the way two people meet,
fall in love,
and marry,
and say, “It was meant to be!”

By whom?
Why, by God, of course!
(“God” is our way of saying,
“It just happens that way!”).
God arranges everything!
Nothing like love and marriage
could happen by chance!
"It had to be predestined
from all eternity!"
Just like the face that was ours
before our mother and father
were born.

We had rather believe in God
than in chance.
Or strict determination.
If we find meaning in something,
we have to find a reason for it.
We have to posit a long line
of cause and effect with the purpose
of the ace of hearts appearing
exactly when it did.

When it is all a game of chance
that was locked in from--
from when?
The beginning,
or before the beginning?

And what we make of it all
is up to us.
And for what,
or where it is going,
we do not know.
So, we have to keep playing the game,
to see what happens next!
And it all rearranges itself
according to what we do
on a whim,
out of the blue,
for no reason,
and pick up the deck of cards.


Where do whims come from?

What is guiding our boat
on its path through the sea?

I have three questions for you.
They all  can be asked in reverse.
So, that's six questions.
All six are getting at the same thing.

1) What is the nature of your pain?
2) What is the source of your life?
3) What is the source of your pain?
4) What is the nature of your life?
5) What does your pain have to do with your life?
6) What does your life have to do with your pain?

Those six questions are at the heart of Alcohol Anonymous.
And at the heart of what we are seeking.
We are seeking the end of pain
and the beginning of life.
We want to be alive and pain-free.

My favorite Joseph Campbell quote
is one you will hear from me again:

"That which you seek
lies far back in the darkest corner
of the cave you most don't want to enter."

Pain is the price of being alive.

My life is my pain.
I live to ease my pain.
My pain requires me to be alive
in the time and place of my living.
I can't live without facing/feeling my pain.
I can't face/feel my pain without coming to life/being alive.
My pain necessitates my life/living.
My life/living requires me to face/feel my pain.
I have to live my pain.
I have to live the fear of my pain.
I have to dance with my pain
in order to dance with my life.

The source of my pain
is I want/need to be loved.
The nature of my life
is I Love Me!

The Marianne Moore quote comes into play here:
"The cure for loneliness is solitude."

We are what we seek.
We are the cave we most don't want to enter.
We are the answer to all our prayers.
We have what we need
to find what we need
to do what needs us to do it
in each situation as it arises
all our life long.

We only have to trust that it is so
sit still,
wait,
be quiet,
look and listen.

Where do you go to be still,
to sit quietly,
to look and listen?

How long has it been
since you've gone there,
done that?

Why has it been so long?

Are you afraid there is nothing there?

Do  you hate your own company?

Be done with alcohol and marijuana. 
And/or their equivalents.
Stand alone in your company.
What is so hard about your life?
What is the source of your life?
What is the nature of your pain?

Being true to ourselves
requires us to determine--
to decide--
when and where 
to move beyond the self
we have been being
into the self we must become.

Growing up is so very hard to do.

And transition points are hell
all the way to the grave.

Who are we?
Who must we be?
Who is the situation asking us to become?

Those are questions fit for a hero.
And so it is called
"The Hero's Journey."

We have to recognize what the moment
is requiring of us--
see what needs to be done,
what needs us to do it,
and decide
what we are going to do about it,
here and now.

We grow up against our will all the way.

But.
Is this me
or not me
here and now?
Is this the time,
or not the time,
here and now?

We can always do what is not me.
Why Here?
Why Now?
We can always do what is me.
Why not Here?
Why not Now?

These are the choices hero's have to make,
time and time again.

Stop.
Look.
Listen.
See.
Hear.
Wait.
Watch.
Stay out of the way.
Something will happen.
Something will shift.
Some door will open.
You will find yourself walking through
To a future with your name on it.
Let it be.
Because it is.
No looking back.