What is this moment in our day asking of us? What is this time and this place in our life asking of us? Sit quietly! Listen! Feel in your body what this moment in your day, what this time and place in your life, are asking of you, are calling for. Learn to read the moment and the times and places of your life-- not to exploit them or to profit from them, but to know what is being called for, what they need from you. Sincerity and non-contrivance are the ways of those who do not come to be served but to serve-- without an eye out for gain or reward. The thing is to be completely free to offer what is needed without strings attached or hope for some advantage. Walking freely and unmoved by hope of personal benefit into each moment, in to all times and places, puts us at the fulcrum, the pivot point, of those moments/times/places, and positions us to lever the present into a future that is exactly what is needed for that present place and time. This is to have an impact for the good for no reason. It is being good for nothing. That kind of boon is the hope of the world.
In the gospels of Matthew and Mark, Jesus says contradictory and mutually exclusive things. In Matthew 12:30, it is like this: "Those who are not with us are against us." And, in Mark 9:40, it is like this: "Whoever is not against us is with us." Leaving us in the lurch, wondering, "Which way IS it?" This is the absurdity of a rule-based system governing relationships. There are no static, rigid ways of structuring communities or societies. The truth is that how we live together comes down to good faith among us, and how we individually read a situation and respond to it. "Sometimes, it is like this, and sometimes, it is like that." When is it what, and how do we know? We decide. It may be this way in this moment and that way in the next. Equitable, fair and just have to even out over time-- and that is achieved through awareness and good faith, around the circle, across the table, but it may not be our turn as often as we think it ought to be. The catch, of course, is with "good faith." Good faith is beyond the bounds of rules and laws. Rumi said, "If you aren't here with us in good faith, you are doing terrible damage." Sincerity, authenticity and good faith are the things upon which relationship depends. And they cannot be forced or contrived. And that's the plaque in the veins.
When Angeles Arrien says, "Everybody wants to have their way," she is saying, "Everybody needs to grow up." The Terrible Two's is where this all begins. Everything would be fine if we only had our way-- and we know how that sounds, so we tack on "once in a while" to take the edge off of our terminal self-centered-ness, which is the same thing as our terminal immaturity as individuals and as a species. People of every culture and of every religion in every culture have always projected their infantile fantasies onto their idea of heaven, where they will be guaranteed of having their way at last. The Hero's Journey is the wake-up call to our whining and complaining. The Path that has to be our own path is nothing more than the way to maturity and grace. The Hero's Journey is growing up and assuming responsibility for our own life and sacrificing our way for the true good of the whole-- in the manner of those who "come not to be served but to serve, and to give their lives to the work of setting others free from themselves so that all might be here for the good of the whole." Nothing is ever wrong with us that growing up some more, again, wouldn't help.