02

One of my favorite questions is 
"What would you go to hell for?"

Totally serious.

It may be the most important question.

There are sacred covenants
that require our filial loyalty,
our liege devotion.
What are yours?
I hope you have a long list!

I will put it another way:
What commitments do you honor,
what activities do you engage in,
what relationships do you cherish,
in what ways do you spend your time,
that are so precious to you,
that being unable to engage in them
would be worse than going to hell?

What is the source of your energy,
spirit,
vitality,
balance,
harmony,
LIFE
that to be without it
would be worse than going to hell?

How often do you go there?

How long do you stay?

–0–

01

Joseph Campbell said
(Quoting James Joyce, I think),
"A mature person
is like a wheel rolling 
out of its own center."

I prefer to think 
of a wheel turning 
out of its own center--
a gyroscope maintaining 
its own balance and harmony
through the turbulence 
of time and place.

Living out of its adamantine loyalty
to its relationship with--
and commitment to--
itself.

It knows who it is
and what it is about--
what grounds it,
centers it,
sustains it,
feeds it,
nourishes it,
replenishes it,
guides and directs it
in and through
each situation as it arises
in all contexts
and circumstances 
of its existence.

There is nothing that can happen
that will knock it off its foundation
or keep it from its mission
of seeing what it looks at,
hearing what is being said,
knowing what's what
and what needs to be done about it
and doing it
with the gifts/daemon/genius/virtues
that are inborn and at its disposal
in each moment of its life
that call it forth to meet the day,
day-by-day-by-day.

Our problem is how to get to that place
in our life.
The 10,000 things are arrayed against us.
Nothing in our past experience has prepared us
to deal with our present
or our future--
though everything has,
and we have only to realize it.

To quote Campbell again,
"No one is given a mission they are not ready for!"
Our lives have prepared us for this moment.
It is our time to step forth
and be who we are--
despite all of the fear,
and insecurity
and excuses we could make.

We have all that we need
to find what we need
to do what needs to be done--
we only have to know that it is so,
and act as though it is--
in the strength of the Two Powers
that are always with us:
The Silence and The Source!

Sitting quietly,
seeking The Source
of our Original Nature,
our Essence,
our Virtues,
our Self
our Imagination,
our Ideas,
our Courage,
our Spirit,
our Energy,
our Vitality...
We discover the truth
that has been true from the beginning:
We are not alone,
and we have all that we need.

Bring on the day!

The key here is to step into each day
"Without hope,
without witness,
without reward!"
( Steven Moffat, Doctor Who),
like a wheel turning out of its own center,
not desiring,
not contriving,
not scheming,
not designing,
not planning,
not preparing...
just living moment-by-moment
in the service of what is called for
in that moment,
with nothing invested in the outcome
and no profit or gain or success or motive in mind.

With only the joy of being able to do 
what is set before us
to propel us into the day.
Each day.

02

History is always coming around.
The times are always changing.
Coming and going.
For better or for worse.
For better and for worse.
Better for whom?
Worse for whom?
Only time will tell.

"The more things change,
the more they stay the same."
Time tells that much all the time.
"The poor will be with us always."
Some things never change.

"No matter how things are,
somebody wants it to be different."
"Everything could be 
more like it ought to be
than it is."
The work in the service of the good
is never done.

"The Good is the enemy of the Best."
"The Best is the enemy of the Good."
Perspective shifts see the enemy everywhere.
"Who's on first?"
"NO! Who's on second!"
How do we live together
in ways we all like?
It would be easier to live together
in ways we don't like,
but are, at least, livable for everyone.

How do we live together 
in ways that are livable for everyone?

Tax everyone according to their means.
Pay everyone a living wage
adjustable to the cost of living.
A fair and reasonable tax structure
with no loopholes
and no favoritism
and good faith all the way around,
is the solution to all of our problems today.
And every day.

So, why won't it fly?
Because there are those of us
who want more than we need
to live the life we want to live--
which is different
from the life that needs us to live it.

Greed in the service of unquenchable desire
is the source of all of our problems today.
That is why
"The more things change,
the more they remain the same."
If you want to change something,
change that.

–0–

01

On June, 25, 2014, I wrote,

Our life is up to us.

We actually have to live it.

Why hold anything back?

Why try to save ourselves from that which can save us?

Only one thing means anything: Living our life
the way it needs us to live it!

At the end of the movie, Jersey Boys, 
Frankie Valli, 
reflecting on his career, 
said, “They ask ya, ‘What was the high point?’ 
The hall of fame, 
sellin’ all those records, 
pullin’ Sherry outta the hat?' 
It was all great. 
But the first time the four of us 
made that sound under the street light, 
our sound, 
when everything dropped away 
and all there was, 
was the music…
that was the best.”

The challenge for each of us 
is to find our music, 
and live it—
to let the music live us—
and see everything that happens to us, 
both positive and negative, 
as an opportunity 
to further align ourselves with the music, 
dance with what life brings us, 
and become who we are.

We are afraid to do that,
and think there is something better than that—
like safety, and security, and never stepping out of line—
because we’ve never stood under a street light
and made the music
only we can make.

But the music is there waiting
for us to show up.

That was written six years ago
and the music is still waiting.

What's your music?
What is your life?
We don't have any idea
because we have so many ideas,
all of which
revolve around having money
and having it made.

We want the fame
and the fortune,
but it's the music.

Ask a musician if they know
what Frankie Valli is talking about.
Ask them if they can remember a time
when it all dropped away
and they became one with the music,
and the music was playing them,
singing them,
and they disappeared into the music,
were lost in the music,
were the music.

Ask them how often it happened.
And what they would give
for it to happen all the time.

Can you remember anything like that 
happening to you?

What do you think your equivalent to the music
might be?
Was?
Could be?

What life is waiting
still,
even yet,
even now,
for you to live it?

What's holding you back?

Why hold anything back?

We thread the needle
between Scylla and Charybdis,
moment-by-moment
through each situation as it arises
all our life long.

We walk along the straight and narrow,
with all its twists and turns,
on the slippery slope,
the dangerous path,
like a razor's edge
every step of the Way--
circumambulating the center,
the core,
the Source
the Self--
growing up some more again day-by-day.

Or not.

It is entirely up to us.

Every day.

The eye of the needle
is "the still point of the turning world"
(T.S. Eliot),
in the midst of the conflicts and contradictions
that define our life
within the context and circumstances of our living.

We can care too much
and we can care too little.

Between those extremes
(and all the others)
we find the middle way,
the balance point,
and dance with the music of the spheres
throughout our life.

This is our work.
It is the work of Sisyphus
rolling his rock up the hill
and following it down the hill
to roll it back up the hill
day after day.

Threading the needle between the extremes
all the time.

We have to be invested in our work
without taking it seriously.
It has to matter to us what we do
without it mattering so much
that it interferes with our being able to do it.

We have to know what is important
without being owned by what is important,
lost in what is important
unable to set what is important aside
when the situation calls for it to be set aside
because something else is more important.

There are no doctrines.
There is no dogma.
There are no laws
or recipes.
There is only seeing,
hearing,
knowing,
understanding
what is called for here and now--
and doing that as best we can
with what we bring to the moment,
every moment. 

We step into every moment 
fresh for the adventure,
without the burdens of past or future,
looking around,
seeing what's what
from the vantage point
of the stillness
and the silence,
waiting for the Way to appear before us
and allowing what needs to happen
to "just happen."

If you think that's easy,
plop yourself down
on the big bull's back,
fasten your grip onto the rope,
and tell them to open the chute.

Remember to enjoy the ride.

That's the most important thing.

You do you!

The way only you can do you!

In ways appropriate to the occasion.
In every situation as it arises.
All your life long.

How long has it been?

Do you even remember?

Do you even remember how to do you?

What happened to you?
Were you shamed out of doing you?
Was it just not paying off?
Was it not worth it?
Was it getting you in trouble?
Was it in your way?
Was it an embarrassment?
     To yourself?
     To others?
Was it pointless?
     Futile?
     Absurd?
Did you get tired of excusing what you were doing?
     Explaining?
     Justifying?
     Defending?
Did you merely grow up
and leave it behind
with your Binky and your Passie?

Would you even know where to start?
How to begin?
Doing you?

Your nighttime dreams would be a good place to look.
And your daydreams.
Your flights of fantasy.

You could start with being aware 
of the white rabbits
that appear out of nowhere,
catching your attention
with a wink and a wave
before hopping around a corner
hoping this time you will follow.

You are everywhere you go,
everywhere you look,
everything you think about doing,
but don't.
Why not?

You finding you,
getting back to you,
being you,
doing you
are the only things worth doing.

Why wait one second longer?

01

Robert Ruark, writing in The Old Man and The Boy
had the Old Man say, about fishing,
"A fish is only a fish.
If you make too much of it,
you lose the whole point of it."

Robert Ruark missed the essence
of his grandfather's sutra,
and failed, throughout his life,
to apply the fish as an analogy 
to everything in his life.

His grandfather was saying,
"Listen to me, dammit, Robert--
if you make too much of anything,
you lose the whole point of it!"

Success, for example.
Or happiness.
Or meaning and purpose.

Alcoholics Anonymous preaches the same sermon
with different words:
"Acceptance is the solution
to all of my problems today."

Acceptance is the refusal
to make too much of any of it,
even acceptance.

Robert Ruark became an alcoholic
because he made too much of the wrong things,
and not enough of the right things,
which is one thing all alcoholics have in common,
along with all the people
who take their disappointment
with themselves and their life
to some different manifestation of The Bottle,
and "get by with a little help from their friend."

Everything is analogous to us and our life.
What does "fish" equate to in your life?
What does "the bottle" equate to?
What are you taking too seriously?
What are you failing to take seriously at all?
What are the right things?
What are the wrong things?
Where are you in the flow of your life?
Where are you out of sync with your life?
Where are your expectations in line with your possibilities?
Where are your desires at odds with your chances?
Where are you willing what cannot be willed?
Where are you forcing what cannot be forced?
Where are you consoling yourself in ways
that are contributing to your disenchantment
and dissatisfaction--
making things worse and not better?
Where is your pain so great
that you will escape it at all costs?

We are all we have to work with
in the time left for living.
We have from now to then
to right our boat on its path through the sea,
get on track with our life
put ourselves in accord with our nature and our heart,
trust ourselves to the unfolding
of the life we are capable of living--
even now, even yet--
and see where it goes
(With no destination in mind,
and no opinion about how things are
to obscure what is being called for
here and now, moment to moment,
day to day).

02

Here come some disparate statements
that I am going to pull together
like a wild rabbit from a hat
in a completely non sequitur kind of way:

1) Jesus was homeless
and he died on a cross.
When we hear him say,
"If you throw in with me,
you have to pick up your cross daily,
and follow me,"
somehow, we never connect following Jesus
with being homeless and dying on a cross.

2) The Dalai Lama's bodyguards
carry automatic weapons.
When he preaches compassion and peace,
he is also saying,
"If you cross me, I will kill you."
Which is not at all different from anything
a Mob Boss ever says.

3) If Elizabeth Warren only had
more cooperation,
it would be a better world overnight.
We want a better world
with Big Banks and Wall Street
and all of the distractions and delights
wealth and privilege can produce.

4) A high percentage of the world's population--
and your county's population--
is not going to make enough money
to pay their bills.
And that leaves them doing 
exactly what with their life?
We have to be able to pay the bills,
but they have to be the right bills,
and we have to know
what we are paying the bills to do.
And be right about the rightness
of what we are doing.
In order to do that,
everything has to change.
Everything has to change.

It all comes down to knowing
what we are doing here
and having the wherewithal to do it.
And "wherewithal" is about 
more than money.

"Wherewithal" is about clarity,
balance and harmony.
We have to "run a tight ship."
We have to exhibit,
express,
incarnate
loyalty and devotion to the cause.

The cause is our life--
the life we are living--
the life that is ours to live--
doing what we are here to do.
Bringing who we are to life in our lives.

Here's a hint for you:
We are not here to make a lot of money
and pass a good time.

We are here to serve 
what we are here to do
with our life.

And, in the words of the woman
who wouldn't wear a mask
and stay away from the crowds
at the beach,
"That's asking too much."

We want to live like we want to
and pass a good time.
Doing what we are here to do
doesn't factor into that equation. 
The economy is based on good times,
not on right living.

And that is the foundational dichotomy
at work in the heaving incongruities
of life as we know it.
And it is the nature 
of the cross we have to bear
on the path of finding our life and living it.

It would be easier to keep things as they are
and not pay the price of transition
and transformation.

"That which you seek,
lies far back
in the darkest corner
of the cave you most don't want to enter"
(Joseph Campbell).

"Pick up your cross and follow me" (Jesus of Nazareth).

01

What needs to happen in any situation
conflicts with--
and stands in contradiction of--
what we want to happen there.

This is the story of the Garden of Eden
and the Garden of Gethsemane.

It is the story of the Buddha under the Bo Tree
and of Jesus in the wilderness.

It is the story that is repeated ad nauseam
through all of the ages of humankind--
and all the lives of each of us in all those ages.

Truth is found,
and life is lived,
"between the hands."
On the one hand, this.
And on the other hand, that.

I want this,
and I need to want that.
Which will it be?
The theme is at work
in each situation as it arises
throughout time.

And here we are,
now what?

We answer the question best
when we ask it with full awareness
of what we are doing.

We default instantly
to what we want to do,
to what we want to happen,
without considering what needs to be done,
what needs to happen.

We live to have our way
in each situation that arises
until we die.

We live our life
in a lifelong conflict of interest
with our life.
We want one thing from our life
and our life wants another thing from us,
and it is within this tension
that we live
moment-to-moment,
day-by-day.

But.

Don't take my word for it.
Simply be still.
Sit quietly.
And wait.
Wait to become aware of 
the conflict of interest
at work in this moment
in your own life.
Be clear about what you want to happen.
Become open to what needs to happen--
to what the moment is calling for
beyond what you want for the moment.

Do this with every moment following this one.

And see what you do.

This simple process
calls into question 
everything we think and believe
about living our life.
Our sole motivation for living
is to have what we want,
to do what we want.

We talk of Freedom and Liberty, 
but it is always the freedom and liberty
to do what we want,
to live our life the way we want to live our life.
And anything that stands in our way
is interfering with our freedom 
to have our way.

What does wanting know?

Wanting has led you to this point in your life.
What is your batting average?
How often has your wanting known what it was doing?
How often did you want yourself to a rock wall,
or a cliff edge?
How often did you want yourself
to the end of the line?
And what did you have but more wanting
to lead you to the end of the next line?

Wanting is a very short-sighted guide.
Near-sighted-ness is not a particularly
sought-for qualification
when interviewing potential guardians and guides.
It isn't what we want that matters,
but knowing what we ought to want,
what we should want,
what we need to want--
and doing what we know needs to be done,
regardless of what we want.

This is the quality that will direct our living
past all concerns for our best interest,
our good,
our gain,
our advantage
and what is in it for us--
and deliver us into the service
of what is crying out to be done
in each situation as it arises,
moment-by-moment,
day-by-day,
all our life long:
"Without hope!
Without witness!
Without reward!" (Steven Moffat)

If you are going to hitch your wagon
to some horse,
let it be that horse,
and give it the reins,
or, better, forego reins and bit entirely,
and just go along for the ride!

–0–

01

"The Church of What's Happening Now" 
is the companion blog-page to this page,
and can be accessed through the menu above.

It is offered in light of its absolute necessity
in the work that we are to be doing--
the work that is ours to do--
here and now,
moment to moment,
situation by situation,
day in and day out,
because being both
involved/immersed in,
and aware of,
what's happening now
is more that any of us 
can do alone.

There have always been
communities of the now--
I call them "communities of innocence"
because they are completely sincere
about their work--
and of all the institutions
that have been developed 
through the ages of our accession,
they alone stand apart
by having nothing to gain
and nothing to lose,
beyond helping the individuals
they serve in living as those
who, themselves, have nothing to gain
and nothing to lose.

"Sincerity without contrivance"
is the motto of all communities of innocence.
Alcoholics Anonymous separates itself with its
"Attraction not promotion" slogan
and its recognition of "a higher power"
with no theology or doctrine to cloud and conceal
the essence of "that which has always been called God."

For me, "The Church of What's Happening Now"
is AA without the Alcohol (or the substance Abuse) part,
helping us to stay focused on being  here, now,
doing what is ours to do--
what needs to be done--
what the situation is calling for,
throughout the "Eternal Now" of our existence.

As I say in the introduction to the page,
"The Church of What’s happening Now 
is intently focused on, 
and involved with, 
the present moment, 
which, of course, is eternal and unending 
because it, in fact, never ends. 
It evolves, morphs, transitions 
forever into nothing more 
than the present moment 
right here, 
right now,
forever.

The Church of What's Happening Now
is a Community of Innocence
dedicated to helping its members
maintain their focus and clarity--
their balance and harmony--
while walking two paths at the same time,
being involved with the conditions and circumstances--
the "just so-ness"--
of the present moment,
while being intently aware
of the "also is-ness"
that connects this moment
with all those that have preceded it
and those that will flow from it.

Lawrence Tribe has said,

“Every possible future points back to 
and is contained in 
this moment in time and space, 
and every possible past 
culminated in this moment. 
So all that ever was or will be 
is right here right now 
with you and with me.” 

The present is eternal.
It is the fulcrum,
the pivot point,
"the still point
of the turning world" (Eliot).

It is the place of our acting,
or of our failing to act,
in the service of what needs us to do it
with the gifts/genius/daemon/virtues
that are ours to share
as blessing and grace
out of filial devotion
and liege loyalty
to the good of the whole.

02

Sincerity and awareness are prime tools 
in the work
of bringing ourselves forth
within the time and place,
context, conditions and circumstances
of our life.

We cannot fake either.

And we don't have to feel like doing either.
We don't have to be in the mood. 
Sincerity requires us to be the mood we are in.
Everything else is a lie.

And awareness pulls us beyond moods.
There is no mood for seeing things as they are.
Once a mood,
or an emotion,
enters the room,
awareness begins to dim,
and sincerity has to deal with
the conflict between seeing
and being afraid to see
(for instance)
into account.

And everything slows down,
waiting for us to get our feet back under us,
and settle ourselves into how things are,
so that we can begin listening/looking
for what is being called for,
and assist whatever arises within
to meet the moment 
with what we have to offer.

There is no thinking/planning/scheming/conniving/contriving here.

We see-hear-know-do.
Spontaneously,
naturally,
automatically,
sincerely.
The dog needs to go out,
and we let the dog out,
or take the dog out. 

Every situation is calling for something.
Our place is to know what that is
and see how we fit into what is needed.
What are we being asked to do?
How might we best respond to the needs of the moment?

We do not think out the answer,
we live it out.

It is like knowing what to do with the ball coming toward us
on a tennis court.
No thinking!
Just seeing-knowing-doing!

Carry a tennis ball with you into each moment
as a reminder of how to handle the moment.

Sincerely present,
with awareness.

–0–

01

It is all useless,
pointless,
hopeless,
futile
and absurd--
and coming to a very bad end
(We all die).

And, how we live in the meantime
makes all the difference.

If you are going to take anything on faith,
let it be this!
Believe it is so
with all your heart,
and soul,
and mind,
and strength!

And live as though it is!

Put it into play in your life
by seeing what you look at,
and hearing what is being said,
and not giving a damn what your chances are,
or what's going to come of it,
or what difference you are going to make,
and step into each situation as it arises,
moment-by-moment-by-moment,
all your life long,
letting things be what they are,
looking at what is happening,
listening for what is being called for,
knowing what needs to be done,
and rising to the occasion
upon every occasion,
in ways appropriate to the occasion,
out of the gifts/genius/daemon/virtues/character
that come with you from the womb
into all of the occasions of your life
as blessing and grace
upon all who come your way--
doing what you came to do,
what is yours to do,
what no one but you can do
the way you can do it--
to startle and surprise,
shock and perturb,
amaze and encourage,
dazzle and delight,
enlighten and confound--
and leave things more like they ought to be
than they were when you arrived.

In order to be able to do this,
you have to spend some time
reworking your relationship
with yourself and your life,
and with the Way that is yours through life--
even as you step into the next situation
and look around.

It is a lifelong process,
redemption and transformation.
It begins with our understanding
this is what we are about,
and finding our way to being
accomplished in the art
one situation at a time.