Jim Dollar's Photography and Philosophy
Finding our way to The Way one situation at a time. I don't know how great it will be, but I expect it will be interesting, and I look forward to it going on past all reason because wonder is just that way. Are you coming or not?
These are not peaceful times. How do you find your peace when there is no peace? Just breathing helps me. "Just breathing" means just breathing. No thinking. No worrying. No anxiety. No drama. No what-if's. No... Just breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. Count to five in sync with your heart beat. Breathe in. Breathe out. Count to five. ... Like that. Just breathe. Let that be your substitute for peace until peace returns.
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All of my women heroes are actual, all of my men heroes are fictional. I don't know what to make of that. Helen Keller and Ann Sullivan head the list. Princes Diana, Eleanor Roosevelt, Dolly Parton... the list is really long Tevya, Chauncey Gardner, Atticus Finch. That's about it. There are men I admire, Joseph Campbell, Sheldon Knopp, Shel Silverstein... but I wouldn't want to pal around with them. I would like to spend a lot of time in the company of the women I think of as heroes. And all of the men on my list have a tender, feminine, side. I seek out in others what I yearn for in myself-- and for myself-- and find it more in women than in men. And, that leads to this: The women I know and know about are more self-aware and compassionate than the men I know and know about. Two more qualities I seek in myself and for myself. So, if you look for me in a crowded room (As if--I would never be in a crowded room), I'll be talking with the women, not the men.
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We make our way through the world, generally following "the course of least resistance," like water on its journey to the sea. In similar situations, we do similar things-- things that have worked before, and we assume will work again-- and over time we create patterns, or ruts, and fall into habits of mindlessly repeating what has gone on before, thinking that is how things ought to be, too preoccupied with other matters to give what we are doing much thought, or even stopping to see what we are looking at, and call that a life, and call that being alive, when it is being mostly dead. Who are we? What are we about? What is ours to do? Do we just make up something here? Are we free to fill in those three blanks with anything we feel like saying at the moment? Are we clearly one set of things and not other sets of things? Are we about certain specific behaviors and actions and not about others? Are we obligated to do what we are uniquely suited to do, or free to think we can be an opera singer if we want to be? What are our responsibilities to ourselves? To each other? To all others? Do we have a way to follow specific to us? Are we free to live any way at all? Is one way of life as good as another? Does it matter how we live? Does it matter what we do with our life? To whom does it matter? Whose business is it how we live? What we do with our life? Is it our business? Do we have any business living any way we want to? Or, is our business seeking the life that is ours to live, and living it to the best of our ability with the gifts that are ours to serve and to share? And if that is our business, how do we go about doing it?
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We spend a lifetime working things out one situation at a time. Thinking we know what we are doing. Being led along by fear and desire, greed and jealousy-- the real Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse-- through predictable outcomes to unsatisfactory ends wondering what could have made all the difference. Waking up would not have hurt anything. Self-transparency would have worked wonders. No expectations, plans, agendas, opinions would have avoided a number of catastrophes. Integrity and sincerity in the service of spontaneity, with no thought of advantage or gain, would have introduced unpredictable wonders and astounding surprises. Fealty, troth, allegiance, devotion and loyalty to our original nature and innate virtues would have avoided clandestine alliances, imprudent betrayals, lingering sadness and bitter disappointment all along the way. All this would combine to transform the world one individual at a time Starting with me and you.
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What is your flow, your rhythm, your style, your shtick? Your brand, your type, your archetype, your home? Where do you belong? Where do you fit? Where is the oasis for your soul's recovery? Our patterns are to be recognized, acknowledged, honored, served. And allowed to guide us along the way with no destination in mind. It is the journey and how we make it that is the tale we are here to tell. We are what we seek. Be that which you seek every day. The end of the journey talking a walk.
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As far as I can see, everyone has taken up the alcoholic's quest for "smooth and easy," (Ogi Overman's phrase), and alcohol isn't the only path they take in trying to find it. They take every path, and call it "bliss," or "having it made," or "escape from suffering..." But it all amounts to "smooth and easy." And, comes down to "having our way." All of the self-help books come down to having our way and getting what we want. When has that ever resulted in bliss, having it made, and escape from suffering? For how long? There is nothing wrong with any of us that changing our mind about what is important wouldn't fix, like that (Snaps fingers). That's the one thing we cannot do apart from the complete loss of everything. Without hitting the wall, getting to the absolute end of our rope, and running out of options-- but even then there are no guarantees that we will change our mind about what is important (and be right about it this time). Being right about what is important and serving it with our life is the most important thing. Everybody thinks they are doing just that. And a high percentage of everybody is trying to push doing it their way onto everybody else. And I will leave you with that, suggesting that you sit yourself down, and figure it out on your own, what is important and what to do about it, in each situation as it arises, all your life long.
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Iris DeMent's "Let the Mystery Be," should be required singing throughout the land. It's all Mystery. The Mind is a mystery. Everything seems to participate in Mind. Viruses and flocks of birds and schools of fish... The people who vote for Trump are of one mind, and the people who vote against him are of another mind, but "mind" is beyond definition or understanding. My body has a mind, my life has a mind of its own. It's all Mystery. So is everything else. Anger. What goes into being angry? Into getting angry? Why aren't all people angry about the same thing? There is so much we will never get to the bottom of. I'd much rather "let the Mystery be," than wax eloquent about things we do not, cannot, comprehend. Like dark matter and what squids do on their day off.
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My sister, Susan, was one slight perspective shift away from being alive today. She took her own life on 12/20/2021 at age 62 by refusing to eat or drink as per her living will-- "No liquids, no tube feeding, nothing to prolong my life. Let's get this show on the road!"-- and under the watchful care of Hospice, because she refused to live on life's terms. She refused to do anything on anyone's terms other than her own. And her own terms refused to acknowledge, much less accept, reality that was out of accord with her preferences and desires. She loved her dogs except for the peeing/pooping part. And was "the life of the party" by being high on the affirmation of those in attendance, but without the applause and on her own, it was a different, and unlivable world. Mental illness is that way-- a perspective shift from balance and harmony, peace and tranquility. Our expectations and judgments, evaluations and assessments, opinions, plans and agendas can be out of accord with all things reasonable and customary. And no one can do for us what we each must do for ourselves-- see what's what and be right about it, and do what needs to be done in response to it. Attitude adjustments are entirely voluntary. And utterly essential to life as it must be lived in order to be lived. Acknowledgement, acquiescence, acceptance and accommodation, Kid. Acknowledgement, acquiescence, acceptance and accommodation. The rule of life.
All transitions have something in common with the butterfly's exit from the chrysalis, which, you will remember, but a step in the process of its transition from caterpillar to butterfly. And is thoroughly amazing-- and not much different from our transitions through all of the stages of our own development all along the way. And it is crucial that we participate in that process as willing partners in the work of being/becoming who we are and doing what is ours to do. The process and all of its transformations are built into our DNA and into "the way of life in the world," which has been called "The Tao of life and being." We only need to relax ourselves into it and cooperate with it from stage to stage, transition to transition, trusting it to know what it is doing as a continuing and wonder-filled source of blessings and grace all along the way. We can willingly participate in the process, or we can buck and snort, resist, moan and wail throughout it. Our response to our life and the experience of being alive makes all the difference. Our attitude changes things-- for better and for worse. It is a superpower bestowed upon us all at birth. What we do with it is up to us.
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What is your soul's true joy? Your heart's delight? What sends your little toes tapping and your little feet dancing? How often do you do those things? For how long? Why not longer, more often? My lists are long, and I generally do something on a list or two daily, and when I'm not doing it, I'm thinking about doing it. Planning to do it. Looking forward to doing it. That's one of the childlike things about me. Nurture the child within! Nourish your inner child! Take your child out to play!
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Rising to the occasion is a simple matter of having nothing at stake in the occasion, so that there is no pressure of any kind, because you aren't trying to win the the prize, or gain prestige, or make a sale. This Zen observation applies: "The ability of the archer to hit the bullseye varies in inverse proportion to the amount of the purse for doing so." It is easy to hit the target with nothing on the line. Live with nothing on the line, not caring what your chances are. You can do anything with that frame of mind, just by doing what is called for, and being what the situation needs. Following this simple little recommendation will transform your life, and the world. The more you try to force your way, wrestling your will into being, and getting what you want, when you want it, how you want it, for as long as you want it, you will be unhappy all your life.
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A bad recollection of one of Issa's verses goes: "The child, lost in a field at dark, chases after fireflies, crying." This is an image of us at our best. Lost. Distracted. Crying. It is not wise to make life-altering decisions after 50. Maybe after 40. I'm talking specifically about selling a house and buying another one, twelve miles and twenty-three minutes away (But twelve miles and twenty-three minutes closer to the daughters and grand-daughters). Sounds like something anyone could do. Even a precocious child. Well. Four months away from having lived 78 years, the slippage and lapses do not need assistance from distraction and disturbance in the flow. Flow is particularly important after 50. Certainly after 60. With today being comfortably similar to yesterday, and tomorrow being a welcome extension of the two. Almost 78 isn't known for keeping things straight and in order. But, it is great for looking forward to a routine that is stable and trustworthy. Maybe by the second week in November. He said, toward the end of August, chasing fireflies.
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Jim Dollar's Photography and Philosophy