November 17-B, 2022

Ferry at Day’s End 10/30/2010 Oil Paint Rendered — Silver Lake, Ocracoke Island, Cape Hatteras National Seashore, North Carolina
I'm looking to see what happens,
and what I do about it,
and what I can find to do 
that either needs to be done
or is meaningful.

In this, I feel like I am 
pretty much within the normal 
distribution curve
of human beings on the planet
from the beginning,
and probably of all living things
as well.

Each day,
there is what happens
and what we do about it,
what needs to be done
and what is meaningful.

Settling into doing what is meaningful
has a lot to commend it.

It keeps up our interest
and our curiosity,
and holds our attention.

Is the value derived from it
worth the effort required by it?
The answer to this question
changes with time.
And we let more go with age,
smiling/laughing at the idea
of that being something 
we would even consider.

Aging is the art of letting things go.
Without regret.
Even bread and circuses 
lose their allure over time.
Particularly circuses.

And, after a while,
nearly everything is 
"just another circus,"
and watching the clouds move past,
or the waves come in,
are perfectly grand things to do.

–0–

November 17-A, 2022

Mount Wythe 09/24/2003 Oil Paint Rendered — Lake Louise, Banff National Park, Alberta
We are not free to will what we want.
Or to will what we will.
Or to will what we ought to will.
So much for freedom of the will.

We will the things we have no business wanting,
much less willing,
much less having.
And we are bound to will those things.
We can't help it.

We can't help thinking what we think,
seeing the way we see,
believing what we believe,
wanting what we want,
loving what we love...

We are at the mercy of 
forces quite beyond us.
Nowhere near being
the captain of our ship,
the master of our destiny.

Free will is not the problem.
Wanting what we want
instead of what we should want
is our problem.
We want the wrong things.
What can we do about that?

Whose fault is it
that we are the way we are?
Certainly not ours!
We don't do anything 
to make us this way!
We would want what we ought to want
if we knew how.

Wanting our way 
is the most natural thing about us.
Show me some living thing
that doesn't want its way!

Octopuses want their way,
and mosquitoes,
and baby squirrels...
the list is long.

If it is alive,
it wants what it wants.

And if we started wanting
what we don't want,
we would still be wanting
what we want.

There is only one way out of this hole
(Who dug it in the first place?).

The best we can to is to 
stop taking wanting seriously,
and start wanting what is called for,
what is needed,
what is essential,
what is necessary...
whether we want it or not.

Doing what needs to be done
the way it ought to be done,
when and where it needs to be done,
whether we want to or not,
is the way out of any hole.

–0–

November 16-A, 2022

Sweetgum Autumn Oil Paint Rendered — Goodale State Park, Camden, South Carolina
We are not here to get anything
out of being here.

The profit motive is the original sin.

Getting,
having,
amassing,
owning,
possessing,
fencing in,
locking up,
storing away
get in the way.

In the way of The Way.

The Way is all there is.

Babies have it,
toddlers know it,
then comes wanting,
getting,
having...

All there is--
all there ever is--
is here/now
and what needs to be done,
here/now,
where and how.

What needs to be done 
for the sake of the good of the whole,
for the sake of what needs doing--
not for the sake of our personal
benefit, profit and gain.

Sit still,
be quiet,
empty of all motives/fear/anger/desire/etc.
until what needs doing
becomes clear.

Do that.
Then, sit still,
be quiet,
empty...

It will transform your life
and rearrange the world.

November 15-B, 2022

Dugger’s Creek Falls 02 09/04/2011 Oil Paint Rendered — Blue Ridge Parkway, Linville Falls Visitor’s Center Parking Area, North Carolina
Spontaneity is an astounding guide.

Who/what is responsible 
for our spontaneous responses
to our circumstances?

We find ourselves saying/doing things
we do not think about saying/doing.

Where does that come from?

I say from the heart,
or from the source of knowing,
the Tao itself.

But, what do we mean by "heart"?
Or "the Tao"?

We mean we don't know.
We don't have the vaguest clue.

We don't know where anything comes from.
Creativity.
These words I'm writing.
Art, music, invention, imagination...

We act like we know,
swaggering around,
explaining things,
all logical, rational, analytical...
like we know what we are talking about.

What do we mean by "mind"?
By "unconscious"?
By "instinct"?
"Intuition"?

We are Mystery
wandering around in Mystery.

"Darkness within darkness,
the gateway to Mystery"
(Lao Tzu).

That's us.

Spontaneity is as close to truth 
as we can get.

Revere spontaneity!
Explore spontaneity!
Trust yourself to it--
even when it leads you astray.

Trust "astray"!

–0–

November 15-A, 2022

Big Creek 03 09/02/2011 Oil Paint Rendered — Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Waterville, North Carolina
Everything depends upon our 
squaring ourselves up with our 
sitz im leben,
our "setting in life,"
the context and circumstances
of our existence,
day-to-day,
moment-to-moment,
in a "Here we are, now what?"
kind of way.

This is it!
What are we going to do about it?

What is called for?
What is required?
What is being asked/demanded of us
(That we do not want to have
anything to do with)?

How well we do that--
how well we accommodate ourselves
to our place in life--
tells the tale.

There is what we want to do,
and there is what is ours to do,
and the trick 
is to do what is ours to do
as though we want to do it.

It helps to have "another life,"
an escape/oasis that we can turn to
from time to time
in which we do exactly what we want to do,
what is truly "our thing" to do,
and serves to balance out
all the things we have to do
that are "not us" at all.

Most of us have to walk
two paths at the same time
in order to be reasonably sane
and healthy
(With health understood to be
"ease of functioning")
throughout our life.

The most common/typical
escape/outlet for people worldwide
throughout the ages
have been sex/drugs/alcohol/money,
not necessarily in that order.

What do we think about
to keep ourselves from thinking about
the things we most do not want to think about?
The closer that comes
to truly being an extension/reflection
of our essential nature
and our innate virtues/character,
the more whole and healthy we will be.

The less we live to truly serve ourselves,
by doing what expresses/exhibits
what is deepest/truest/best about us,
the more depressed and lifeless we will become
to the point of being an empty body
going through the motions of life
with nothing alive about us.

We save ourselves by doing things
that are meaningful to us
with all our heart/mind/soul/spirit,
as often as possible,
wherever we can,
all our life long.

"It's never too late to start all over."
"Anything can happen if we let it."
"Our future is up to us."
Mary Poppins-esque, 
Chinese Fortune Cookie Psychology,
comes to our rescue time and time again.

If we let it.

–0–

November 14-B, 2022

Bass Lake 10 10/06/2011 Oil Paint Rendered — Blue Ridge Parkway, Blowing Rock, North Carolina
The perennial task of life
is to reconcile ourselves 
to our circumstances
in a "This is the way things are,
and this is what I can do about it,
and that's that" kind of way--
without expectations,
opinions,
judgment,
emotional reactivity,
followed by:
"Now what can I do about
being unable to do any more about it?"

The "What can I do now?"
is the crucial part of the equation.

Diversion, distraction, dejection, dismay, denial
are the usual options,
opined in a "Poor me, poor me," kind of way.

We owe ourselves more than that.
What we do with disappointment
is crucial to everything that follows.

We carry it into the emptiness,
stillness
and silence,
and sit with it
until something stirs to life,
emerges,
arises,
appears
to lead us on a train of associations
into depths and realizations
that would have never occurred to us
without taking the time 
to explore our response
to "No! Not now, not ever!"

"No!" is better than "Yes, of course!"
in that it expands/enlarges us 
in ways "Yes," never could.

And, if we aren't growing, 
we're dying.

So, take every "No!" 
as a concealed "Yes!" 
that needs to be explored,
examined, imagined, birthed,
and brought forth into being.

"If not this, then what?"
Find out!
Do not die without knowing
where every road leads,
which is, of course, 
to another road.

–0–

November 14-A, 2022

The Beech Trees 04-27-2008 Oil Paint Rendered — Guilford College Woods, Greensboro, North Carolina
To live the truth
we have to be able to live a lie.

To be true to ourselves
we have to violate all of the standards
that hold life together.

Maybe walking off into Galilee,
and maybe bearing the pain
of a marriage to a man
no one could live with
for the sake of the children
and the life they might have.

We have to bear the pain
of the cross
of contradiction and conflict
in being who we are 
where we are
when we are.

Balancing Yin and Yang
and paying the price
of harmony and peace.

This is what the (blind) Greek poet Homer
was talking about
when he had Odysseus say,
“And if some god should strike me, 
out on the wine-dark sea, 
I will endure it, 
owning a heart within 
inured to suffering.”

And,
“I will stay with it 
and endure suffering hardship--
and once the heaving sea 
has shaken my raft to pieces, 
then I will swim.”

(It takes being blind to see, sometimes)

This is the turmoil of soul
a gay person experiences
in coming out.

It is the deepest kind of agony,
requiring, 
as it does,
a metaphorical death
to enable an actual life.

And the metaphorical
and the actual
are the easiest things to confuse--
and the hardest things to keep straight--
leading some people to actually kill themselves
because something has to die,
and it is hard to know what that is
in the anguish of the birth/death struggle
that is the grace/curse of all of our
coming out,
coming forth,
being clear about who we are
and who we are not.

So, Helen Luke could say,
“Unless a man or woman 
has experienced 
the darkness of the soul 
he or she can know nothing 
of that transforming laughter 
without which no hint 
of the ultimate reality 
of the opposites 
can be faintly intuited.”

"The ultimate reality of the opposites"
is Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane,
is Odysseus upon the wine dark sea,
is every woman,
every man,
before the truth of who they are
and who they are required to be
by the way things are to be done
in the world they live in.

In order for something to live,
something must die,
and it is essential that we 
let all of our dying be metaphorically real
and not really real.

Jesus could have died just as well
by escaping into Galilee,
but he got confused
about what was actual
and what was real.

And the message of Gethsemane is
Be Clear About What Is Actual
And What Is Real--
and die the right kind of death,
the kind with True Life
on the other side
here and now.

–0–

November 3rd Week, 2022

Maple Branch 11/08/2012 Oil Paint Rendered — Around the Block, Greensboro, North Carolina
There is much to be attuned to.

Living in accord with the Tao,
aligned with the spirit
that blows where it will,
situation by situation,
requires a degree of awareness/mindfulness
that we are not trained to initiate,
much less maintain.

We cannot expect to be so attuned
and aligned
without regular returns
to emptiness,
stillness
and silence.

How much time in a day
do you spend there?

Need I say more?

Without increasing the depth
and frequency of our attentive silence,
we are kidding ourselves
about being attuned to,
aligned and in accord with,
anything of the spirit
and the heart.

This doesn't mean we have to sit zazen
and chant "Om mani pad me hum."

It means we have to be attentive
to what stirs to life in the silence
and speaks to us in our nighttime dreams.

And that means we have to be quiet
and receptive
on a regular basis.

See?

–0–

November 13-B, 2022

The Takeoff 04/14/2013 Oil Paint Rendered — The Bog Garden, Greensboro, North Carolina
Laughter has to be a part of life.
No one can be alive without laughing.
There is no humor in the Bible. 
Zen saves Buddhism.
Taoism was there 
before Zen was.
Makes Taoism the go-to perspective
for life.
Chung Tzu leads the way!
Leih Tzu is next in line.
Wen Tzu softens Lao Tzu
and puts seriousness in its place.

To take things seriously
is to miss the point.
Singing, dancing and laughing
bring us back to it.

The people whose default 
operating mode is anger
are beyond help,
and need to be given 
a wide berth.

Who needs hope
when they have The Way?

The Way proceeds
"Without hope,
without witness,
without reward,"
(Steven Moffat),
"anyway,
nevertheless,
even so!"

And does what is good
whether it does any good 
or not.

See?

–0–

November 13-A, 2022

Green Heron in Flight 01 04/23/2013 Oil Paint Rendered — The Bog Garden, Greensboro, North Carolina
What keeps you going?

Where do you turn when you have
nowhere to turn?

What does your life mean to you?

Where do you stop and where does your life start?

What is yours to do?

What is your "thing"?

What is your specialty?

What was the most meaningful thing about today?

To what do you owe fealty?

Liege loyalty?

Filial devotion?

Write out your answers fully
to these questions.

–0–

November 12-B, 2022

American Buddha 2015 Oil Paint Rendered — Benson Mott Lockwood 1870 – 1896, Crystal Springs City Cemetery, Crystal Springs, Mississippi
Everyone who knows
knows the same things.

Everyone who is capable of knowing
is waiting to hear,
to see,
to understand,
the way to realization/enlightenment/comprehension
they are on the brink of achieving,
and need the right nudge
at the right time
to grasp the "Aha! Moment,"
the "Eureka! Click,"
that opens the way,
that clears the path,
to further inquiry,
and deeper/wider/higher understanding/
realization/
enlightenment/
comprehension...

No one is the prefect human being.
Everyone is capable of being
as perfect as they can be.
But perfection is meaningless
in that there is no end state to achieve.

“If you went in search of it, 
you would not find 
the boundaries of the soul, 
though you traveled every road, 
so deep is its measure.” — Heraclitus 

There is more to know than can be known,
and it is unfolding before us all of the time.

There is no steady state of being.
Only a path winding forever before us,
calling out:
"More wonders ahead!
And more to wonder about!
Keep asking, seeking, searching!
Pondering! Peering! Poking! Perceiving!
Come on! Come on!"

–0–

November 12-A, 2022

Kisatchie Pines 02 03/18/2015 Oil Paint Rendered — Kisatchie National Forest, Red Dirt District, Natchitoches Parish, Louisiana
Our standard of measure
isn't what we get out of it,
but the quality and degree
of effort we put into it.

How pleased are we with our
level of focus,
concentration,
attentive presence,
compassion/kindness/concern,
situation by situation
throughout the day?

How could we be more involved with,
attuned to,
a part of,
what is going on
moment to moment?

How might we care more about
what is happening
and less about what we 
stand to gain from it?

Let's say there is no payoff
for the quality of our engagement with,
participation in,
our life.

What's our motivation?

How do we give our best effort
every day,
"without hope, 
without witness,
without reward" (Steven Moffat)?

What do we do for free?

What do we go on doing for free?

Let's live to increase our for free
level of participation each day.
Giving our best for free.
Being good for nothing.
Being good for the day for nothing.

Starting with what is left of today.