To live the truth we have to be able to live a lie. To be true to ourselves we have to violate all of the standards that hold life together. Maybe walking off into Galilee, and maybe bearing the pain of a marriage to a man no one could live with for the sake of the children and the life they might have. We have to bear the pain of the cross of contradiction and conflict in being who we are where we are when we are. Balancing Yin and Yang and paying the price of harmony and peace. This is what the (blind) Greek poet Homer was talking about when he had Odysseus say, “And if some god should strike me, out on the wine-dark sea, I will endure it, owning a heart within inured to suffering.” And, “I will stay with it and endure suffering hardship-- and once the heaving sea has shaken my raft to pieces, then I will swim.” (It takes being blind to see, sometimes) This is the turmoil of soul a gay person experiences in coming out. It is the deepest kind of agony, requiring, as it does, a metaphorical death to enable an actual life. And the metaphorical and the actual are the easiest things to confuse-- and the hardest things to keep straight-- leading some people to actually kill themselves because something has to die, and it is hard to know what that is in the anguish of the birth/death struggle that is the grace/curse of all of our coming out, coming forth, being clear about who we are and who we are not. So, Helen Luke could say, “Unless a man or woman has experienced the darkness of the soul he or she can know nothing of that transforming laughter without which no hint of the ultimate reality of the opposites can be faintly intuited.” "The ultimate reality of the opposites" is Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, is Odysseus upon the wine dark sea, is every woman, every man, before the truth of who they are and who they are required to be by the way things are to be done in the world they live in. In order for something to live, something must die, and it is essential that we let all of our dying be metaphorically real and not really real. Jesus could have died just as well by escaping into Galilee, but he got confused about what was actual and what was real. And the message of Gethsemane is Be Clear About What Is Actual And What Is Real-- and die the right kind of death, the kind with True Life on the other side here and now.