It is all so wondrous, amazing, complex and absurd! We have to accept it just as it is, and say, "Wow!" a lot. The idea that we can somehow manipulate "the system" to our advantage is the most on-going, never-ending, raw absurdity in the entire gamut of absurdities. That we can tilt the table and have what we want is the theme that runs through the center of all of the tragedies ever created by our kind through time. Having what we want for how long? At the expense of what? Are two questions we never consider asking, much less, answering. "The system" is built for, and runs on, balance and harmony, homeostasis, equilibrium, like a thermostat maintaining a "constant" temperature by allowing it to dip a bit below, or to rise a bit above, and raising, or lowering, it a bit in the opposite direction until "constant" is achieved for a very short while, and it repeats the process "constantly," throughout time. Or a bicycle traveling in a "straight" line through a never-ending series of controlled wobbles, Having what we want is like that. Now we have it. Now we don't. Trying to have what we want always, and nothing but what we want ever, is the recipe for insanity. And suicide. I've known people who chose to die because they could not handle life on life's terms, saying, in effect, "If I cannot live my life on my terms, I choose to not live at all!" Most of us are not as rigid as that. Life does not favor a steady state of being. It is give-and-take all the way for those who make it all the way-- letting things come and go as they will, in their own time, in their own way, because "that is how things are." Nobody knows why things are as they are, except to say "the system" requires it. "It is the way." And learning to let come what's coming, and let go what's going, is the key lesson of life among the absurdities, dichotomies and contradictions at work in life, all of the time, around the clock. We cannot freeze the tides in place without stopping the clock. And who would want to do that?
Living from the center, from the heart, from adamantine core of integrity, sincerity, congruity and harmony creates balance in the service of life and being, the way a gyroscope exhibits intention and purpose just by being itself. Living from the core is being one with the core in all of our coming and going. We do that by "minding how we go," in a regular and routine way of remembering to remind ourselves of who we are and what we are about and how we are to be about it: Being right about what is called for and doing it the right way at the right time in the right place, because that is who we are and what we are here to do, no matter what. Return to the center, revisit the core, regularly, routinely, throughout each day.
I dreamed that I was not allowed to join The Circle of Shaman because I was like the wind that blows where it will. The irony of that was not missed even in the dream, and I received the news with a smile, knowing I did not belong there, because Shaman groups have rules and I see rules as guidelines, as suggestions, like a recipe for gumbo, witch itself is a contradiction in terms, and "No tomatoes in gumbo!" is an invitation for me to add tomatoes to gumbo. You can see, as I do, how the Shamans knew what they were doing. At the same time, I do belong to the most intimate circles of some people, and they belong to mine. We all have our circles, and our circles intersect with the circles of all of those who belong to our circles, and that kind of belonging is at the heart of who we are, individually and collectively throughout time. "The Collective Unconscious" is Carl Jung's phrase for the aspect of Mind that includes all of us and all of our ancestors, and, to be consistent, all of our descendants, which covers the whole of us over time. All of time. We are One in many ways, and the ways in which we do not belong to some circles is one of the ways we are One with everyone, in a "without contrary, is no progression" (William Blake) kind of way. In our opposites and contradictions we are One. And I belong to the circle of Shaman in spite of being excluded from their circle-- by virtue of being excluded from their circle-- because life is funny like that. And we are all One whether we want to be or not. I don't know how the fascists are going to take the news. Not very well, I expect. And that is something else they have in common with all of us.
Believe in you-- not the you you look at in a mirror, not the you you mean when you say, "I'll have a cup of coffee," not the apparent you, not the you people would describe when taking about you-- the you at the heart of you, the you exhibited by your original nature, the you that shines through in certain situations, leaving you to wonder, "Where did that come from?" Believe in that you, trust in that you, establish and maintain a relationship with that you, live aligned with that you, in accord with that you, in ways that express and exhibit that you throughout what remains of the time left for living. You begin to do this by listening to your nighttime dreams, listening to your heart, listening to your body-- your physical symptoms and the things you "know in your bones," and that come to you as "gut feelings." Listen to your intuition and your instincts. Notice the things that catch your eye, and look closer. Notice the things that attract you, and the things that repel you. Follow your tastes and interests to see where they lead. Ask your friends what they know about you that you don't know. Complete "Your Totem Animal Exercise" on my companion WordPress site at this link: https://jimwdollar.com/2020/09/26/your-totem-animal/ Sit quietly from time to time, open to what arises within and reflecting on that as a path to new realizations. Write yourself a letter and read it aloud, then write a letter to you from yourself and read it aloud. Carl Jung said, "There is within each of us another, whom we do not know." Make it your practice to get to know "the other" within, and develop your relationship with her/him over the remainder of your life.