I want you to make peace with your life-- while being true to your original nature in conjunction with the context and circumstances of the time and place of your living. I want you to live truly, to truly live, to live truthfully in light of all that is true in a "This is the way things are, and this is what we can do about it, and that's that" kind of way. No despair. No hopelessness. No remorse. No desperation. No anger/fury/hostility. No resentment... Recognition. Acquiescence. Acceptance of the fact that the way things are is the way things are, and that how that impacts us is up to us. With filial loyalty and liege devotion to the essence-- to the truth-- of who we are no matter what all the way to our final breath. Now, I recognize that you probably want more than this, and I'm not going to be much help to you in doing/being more than this. I can offer what I have to give, and whether it is worth your while, is for you to say. And whether we are together, or apart, for much, or all, of the way, I say, "Happy trails to both of us, to all of us, all the way!" And, speaking of Happy Trails, my deep faith is in the validity-- in the truthfulness-- of The Way, The Path, in the sense of Martin Palmer's phrase, talking about the Tao, "The path that can be discerned as a path is not a reliable path." Our allegiance is to The Path, The Way, The Tao, that winds through all of this experience we call Life, for the sake of being fully alive in the time and place of our living. Remaining steadfastly true to ourselves and true to the path is the part we play, after that, it is out of our hands, and we say "YES!" to whatever that may be. That's what I mean when I say, "Happy Trails," trusting, as I do, that it will be so, always and forever.
We have to believe/trust the path we are on to lead us to the path we need to be on-- which means that the path we are on IS the path we need to be on, and we need to walk it with our eyes open, seeing what we look at, hearing what is being said (including what we are saying-- to ourselves and to others), asking all of the questions that beg to be asked, and saying all of the things that cry out to be said, feeling what is to be felt, thinking what is to be thought, doing what is to be done, with mindful awareness of all that is going on, receiving it all in emptiness and silence, watching for what emerges/arises/appears of its own volition, and following what needs to be followed, and doing what needs to be done, and letting that lead us wherever it goes, trusting ourselves to the process-- to The Way-- all the way.
In every situation, there are the way things are, and the way they need to be, and the way we want things to be, and the way we wish they were. Our questions to answer in each situation are: In light of what do we live? What guides our boat on its path through the sea? Where does our liege loyalty and our filial devotion lie? To what do we plight our troth? To what do we award our undying devotion? What do we serve with our life? What sends us forth to do its bidding? How do we decide what to do?