October 23, 2021


Water Lilies 06/09/2015 Oil Paint Rendered — Pike Nursery, Charlotte, North Carolina
I wish people were transparent.
At least as transparent 
as dogs and horses. 

There is no lying with dogs and horses.
Or cats.

We know where we stand with plants and animals.
They all are like the Buddha,
as one "thus come,"
just as they are,
straight from the womb,
or the acorn.

We rarely ever are that way.
We kid ourselves.
Think about that.
Kidding ourselves 
is what we do best.
Think about that.

We can't be transparent
even with ourselves.
With us NOTHING is as it
appears to be!

Kidding ourselves about God
is our highest achievement
at self-deception.
But that applies only in the west.
The people in the east
don't kid themselves about God.

There is no Original Sin
in the east.
People aren't born guilty
of pissing God off,
so that God has to kid even himself
by offering up Jesus as a sacrifice
to himself
in order to say,
"Ah, never mind. Ya'll come on in."

In the west, self-deception
goes all the way to the top.

We are born into a culture
where God is assumed.
We are born into a God-milieu, 
and everybody is awash
in some quasi-theology from birth,
and everybody knows it's all so
because that's all they have ever heard,
so of course it's so.

Even the people who don't believe in God
know exactly the God they don't believe in,
and carry that God around with them,
in a negative kind of way,
wherever they go.

We all are kidding ourselves.
And we are kidding ourselves
about not kidding ourselves.

How do we step away from the game
of self-deception
in order to be transparent?
Even to ourselves?
Especially to ourselves?

We die not-knowing who we are.
Who we would be apart from the lies.
Who we would be if we stepped away
from the lies
in order to be who we are



Red 04/22/2021 Oil Paint Rendered — Pike Nursery, Charlotte, North Carolina
Our original nature
is here to be realized,
in the sense of our realizing 
what it is/who we are,
and in the sense of being made real,
brought forth,
exhibited and expressed
in our life.

We have to live in ways that 
are true to ourselves.
When we don't,
there are symptoms,
and issues,
and indications
that something is amiss
all our life long.

We are off balance,
out of harmony,
out of tune,
off key,
and it shows.

It is time for a meeting
of the minds.

Our conscious mind
has to sit down
with our unconscious mind,
and reach agreement
about how we live together
going forward.

We have to integrate Logos
with Mythos.

Our logical, rational, intellectual, analytical mind
has to be integrated with our
instinctive, intuitive, imaginative, creative mind.

The work of growing up
is the work of maturation
is the work of dancing 
to the music embedded in our bones,
and becoming "The Youthful Immortal"
(Benjamin Hoff) we are capable of being.


Published by jimwdollar

I'm retired, and still finding my way--but now, I don't have to pretend that I know what I'm doing. I retired after 40.5 years as a minister in the Presbyterian Church USA, serving churches in Louisiana, Mississippi and North Carolina. I graduated from Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary, in Austin, Texas, and Northwestern State University in Natchitoches, Louisiana. My wife, Judy, and I have three daughters and five granddaughters within about twenty minutes from where we live--and are enjoying our retirement as much as we have ever enjoyed anything.

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