Leverage in any situation is used to lever the good of the situation into place. Every situation needs something. To step into each situation endeavoring to serve our advantage, our good, our gain, our benefit, our desire is to do grave harm not only to that situation but also to all situations which flow from that one. We live with our ends in mind, and here we are. This world we live in is the result of that orientation. This is the best that can do. We change the world by changing the way we approach our life and the situations that open before us. Step innocently into the next situation that arises before you, with nothing to lose and nothing to gain, just looking, just listening, seeing what's what and what needs to be done, what is being called for, what the situation is crying out for, and move to meet that need with the gifts/daemon/specialties/shtick/etc. that are yours to offer. What do you have that the situation needs? Make that available when the time is right, and see where it goes. You might ask aloud, "What are we doing here? What are we hoping to accomplish? What needs to be done?" Focusing on what we are doing and what we need to be doing, can be all some situations need to move toward closure. In other situations, it is obvious what needs to happen. Articulate that and see what happens. Or, simply act to serve the need-- be what is called for-- and let that move the situation as it will, without forcing the action or directing the outcome. A engaged presence with nothing at stake in what happens, keeps things moving toward their natural conclusion. And a result that is far more satisfactory than forced choices and artificial agreement.
We live looking for the action, any action. We live for distraction, diversion, deflection. denial. We live to be entertained. To have our mind taken off of what we are left with without any escapes at hand. With the prayer of the weary fleers as the mantra of the day, every day: "O God, save us from having to live our life again today!" What would we do without something to do? It is no wonder that Jesus said, "Tell you what. I'll see you later." First, we have to be here now. Not us! Maybe later! Maybe tomorrow! Maybe one day! Maybe sometime! Not now! Not here! Anywhere but here! Especially now! Our plan is to not be where we are ever. I'm sure you see the problem. I have no idea what we are going to do about it. We have to get to the end of our rope before we can change our mind about what is important. And we have a lot of rope. Let the good times roll!
It comes down to us and our life. Here we are, now what? It's up to us, what. We have our choices and decisions to work with. Where we go from here is up to us. So, sit down. Tell me what you don't like about your life. And what you are willing to do to transform your relationship with it-- and with yourself-- and with the people you spend time with. The first thing to change is the way you think about your life, yourself and the people you spend time with. Start thinking about your thinking. The way you think has you where you are. If you thought differently, you wouldn't be here, now. You would be somewhere else. Maybe better, maybe worse. Nothing happens without a shift in the way you think. You begin to make the shift by thinking about your thinking. The way you feel flows from the way you think. Change the way you think and you change the way you feel. You begin to change the way you think by thinking about your thinking. Thinking about your thinking means challenging the way you think. Calling yourself out. Demanding accountability. It means thinking about the different ways you could be thinking but aren't. Dig around in there. Why not? When did you settle on this way to think and not that way, or that way over there? What made it easy for you to start thinking the way you think? How do the people you spend time with support you in the way you think? Who among them challenges the way you think? Have you withdrawn from people who challenge the way you think? What's up with that? The way you think got you here, now. You aren't going to be somewhere else without changing the way you think. You are going to have to think your way to somewhere else. That means changing the way you think. That means challenging the way you think. Consider that all your dichotomies (Your either/or's) are false dichotomies, and that all of your conclusions are foregone conclusions, and give yourself a break from you. Have it out with yourself. You got yourself here, now. You aren't leaving here, now with the same self that got you here, now. You are going to leave with a New You. And it starts with thinking about your thinking. Start thinking.