We can make too much of anything. Sincerity and authenticity, for instance. What is called for is the question, and "Always do it this way!" is not always valid, or fitting to the occasion. "Always do what is called for!" fits every occasion. It is the only thing that does. I have gay friends who are married with children, who feel as if they have betrayed themselves and are being inauthentic and disingenuous, are living a lie, and should have come out early on and been real from the start. I ask them to look at the life they have lived, and to imagine who they could have been better partnered with, and how the world would be better off without their children in it, and consider that "walking two paths at the same time" is an eternal and everlasting condition of life and requirement for living, and to shut up with their whining until "the mud settles and the water clears," and they know with unparalleled certainty that their situation is calling for them to come out and be real. No one knows what will be called for. Everyone lives with the burden of knowing what that is in each situation as it arises and of doing what is needed when the time is right and letting the outcome be the outcome. We live moment-to-moment. We do not know what will be called for from one moment to the next. Our responsibility consists of being clear and courageous-- which is really one thing: Clarity creates courage. Clarity is all we ever need, and it is rarely what we think it will be, or ought to be. We are likely to be shocked and surprised at what is being asked of us. And walking two paths at the same time is frequently the best of our available options. And, what that will mean, and how we work it out in our life, is one of the great challenges and lasting adventures along the way of being alive.