Jim Dollar's Photography and Philosophy

We want that and don't want to give up this to get it.

"You can't have your cake and eat it, too,"
gets to the heart of the matter.
The only way out of the morass 
is bearing the pain.

How well--how consciously--how deliberately--
how consistently--how utterly and completely--
we bear the pain of being alive
and living constantly between the two poles:
"I want to have my cake!"
"I want to eat my cake now!"
Tells the tale.

When Col. Nathan R. Jessup said
(In the movie, "A Few Good Men,")
"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!"
he was talking about the truth,
"You can't have your cake and eat it, too!"

All of our problems come down
to wanting to have our cake and eat it, too.
Come down to
having to give up this to get that.

God Damn It!
We just want everything at the same time!

My sister Susan killed herself
by starving herself to death in Hospice care
because living meant living on life's terms,
and her terms were the only terms she would accept.

Doing it her way meant doing it this way now,
and that way in five minutes,
and that way five minutes later,
and no one could live with her
because her way was always changing
in light of whatever she wanted now,
no, now,
no, now...

Vladimir Putin wants everyone to adore him
on his terms.
Norma Jeane Mortenson killed herself
because what she wanted
interfered with something else she wanted,
and she couldn't bear the pain
of not having what she wanted
for the sake of something else she wanted.

The lesson in all of this is:
We have to bear the pain!
We have to bear the pain of the truth
we can't handle!

How well we live hinges on
how well we bear the pain
of our opposites,
of our contradictions,
of wanting this without giving up that.

Life becomes a lesson in pain management.

The people who live well,
bear their pain well.

The Sisyphean Task
is bearing the pain of being alive.
Of negotiating our way between
Scilla and Charybdis.
Between wanting this
and having to have that.

Sit down with what's killing you,
and come to terms
with the pain you are carrying.

What is the nature of your pain?
What is the source of your pain?
What is life requiring of you
that you do not want to relinquish?
What will handling the truth mean for you
and the way you are living your life?

This is a conversation that living well
requires of us
over the full course of our life.
We constantly bear the pain
of not being able
to have our cake
and eat it, too.

Broaden the conversation to include
your best friends.
Tell them about your cake
and ask them about theirs.
Make it a regular part of your relationship.
"How's it going with you and your cake?"

It is called consciously bearing
the pain of being alive.

The only way I know of handling the truth
is to handle it consciously
with those we trust to know us well.

–0–

When "the world is too much with us
late and soon" (William Wordsworth),
we have to recognize it 
and step back.

And when we cannot step back,
we have to recognize that,
and let it be,
because it is,
and live with as it is,
knowing
in a "This cannot be helped,
so let's do what we can"
kind of way.

Doing what we can
with a world that "is too much with us,"
is hero's work,
worthy of song and fable,
and the fact that no one notices
or cares
adds to the value of the work
done "Without hope,
without witness,
without reward"
(Steven Moffat, Dr. Who).

This is the legacy of all 
who know what's what
and do what can be done about it.

It is the Sisyphean Task,
doing the tedious, 
tiring,
boring work
that holds the world together
and must be done,
when and where and how it needs to be done.

And if the world is too much with us,
we still have the stone
waiting for us at the bottom of the hill,
to see what we are made of.

To show us what we are made of.

–0–

We live to find the still point,
the safe harbor,
of balance and harmony.

The catch is that there
are no steady states of life and being.
Now we have it,
now we don't.

Controlling the wobbles
will have to do.

Emptiness, stillness and silence
can help with that.
Reducing noise and complexity.
Diminishing vulnerability
by limiting exposure.

But, prisoners in solitary confinement
are very safe.
Freedom has its downsides,
responsibility being one of them.
How constraining responsibility is!

And so, the flow between extremes,
looking for just right
between too hot and too cold.
The movement of life and being.

Living takes a lot of getting used to.
And flexibility.
And good humor.
Listening, looking, being aware,
doing what needs to be done
in the service of balance and harmony,
and letting looking for the still point
become the still point
while being on the move.
Laughing.
Enjoying the dance.
And the thrill of not-knowing what's next
or what we will do about it.
Looking forward to finding out.
Hoping it never ends.
Weeping when it's done.
And getting back in line
to do it again.
Never tiring of the dance.

We don't have enough wonderful in our life.

We ought to make it our business
to increase the Wonderful Quotient in
each week.

It may be too much to ask of each day,
but adding wonderful to each week
ought to be a doable task.

We owe it to ourselves to make the effort.
Just embracing the intention
will increase the likelihood
of our paying attention to the things
we experience as wonderful,
and heighten the chances of our 
being increasingly aware of wonderful
when it crosses our path.

Let's join together 
in taking the oath:

"I will not miss wonderful in my life this week!"

–0–

Enlightenment is not a matter
of thinking anything up,
but of realizing what just
occurred to us
and connecting that with how
we have always been told things are
by those who know
and are right about it.

Who cannot tell us anything
we don't know when we know 
what we know.

Which is to say,
we cannot be talked into enlightenment,
we can only realize our way there,
which is to live our way there.

Which is to know what we know
and connect that with what
we have always known.

Like, "Money is useless
beyond paying the right kind of bills."

And, "All of the real answers
are found within."

And, "Truth is all twisted nonsense
until you know what's what."

And, "Sit still, be quiet, 
until something occurs to you
that clicks things into place."

–0–

Start anywhere,
any time.

The path begins with the next step,
in any direction.
Just start walking
with your eyes and ears open,
being aware of everything.

There is nothing more to enlightenment
than realization,
and there is always more to realize
than we realize,
so we are always being enlightened,
we are always waking up,
there is always more to know 
than we know.

The Buddha died from eating bad pork!
Shoulda seen that coming, Bro!

There is always something else coming.
Don't be thinking you've seen it all,
or that you know it all.
Always be listening, looking,
being mindfully aware of everything.

It is the way.

–0–