May 26, 2024 – A

High Mountain Lake Mirror
Created by copying the top half of the image, flipping it upside down and reattaching it to itself.
Instant mirror.
It gets better. The left half of the top half was made at Morton’s Overlook in the Smokies.
I copied it, and flipped it side to side, attached to itself to create the top half of this image.
Mirrors are everywhere. Reality is not to be found (Here or anywhere else).
I have said here before
that my fifth grade teacher
told my mother in one of those
parent/teacher conferences,
"Jimmy looks out the window a lot."

A lot of that was because
Jimmy was safer out the window.
The adults in my life were intent
on molding me after their image of me.
So I withdrew without knowing what I was doing
like an oyster into its shell.

I read a lot. Mostly Hardy Boys and science fiction.
And spent a good bit of time wandering in the woods
near our house,
and building model airplanes and ships from plastic kits.
And fished with other boys my age.

I did not know an actual flesh and blood adult
who was any help to me whatsoever.

Mad magazine provided a foundation of sorts with satire
and humor, but I lacked any real sense of stability,
purpose and direction.

That began to take shape in the time I spend
reflecting on what interested me
and how I might make sense of things.

That really took off when I graduated from seminary,
and could get away from people telling me what to think
in order to ask my own questions and seek my own answers
to those questions.

My education began when I left school.

I read everything that caught my eye from all fields of study.
And everything raised more questions.
Even its answers raised questions.
And my experiences with life generated even more questions.
And here I am. Still asking questions!
I don't expect my death to slow it down!

I'll be looking out the windows still, even then.
But then, as now, with purpose and direction.

–0–

Published by jimwdollar

I'm retired, and still finding my way--but now, I don't have to pretend that I know what I'm doing. I retired after 40.5 years as a minister in the Presbyterian Church USA, serving churches in Louisiana, Mississippi and North Carolina. I graduated from Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary, in Austin, Texas, and Northwestern State University in Natchitoches, Louisiana. My wife, Judy, and I have three daughters, five granddaughters, one great granddaughter, and a great grandson on the way, within about ten minutes from where we live--and are enjoying our retirement as much as we have ever enjoyed anything.

6 thoughts on “May 26, 2024 – A

  1. I remember reading somewhere that when a child looks out the window at school, he/she is simply more interested in the things outside the window, there is nothing wrong with that. Child’s attention naturally follows whatever he/she is most interested in, and if it happens not to be in the classroom, the teacher is responsible and the child should not be judged for it. It seemed right to me 🙂 !

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Every child should have been looking out the window in all of my classes! I can’t imagine there being anything in the classrooms for any of us–unless it were a Montessori classroom, perhaps. A teacher who could engage their students would have been a jewel. Who put the art of asking questions as the most important thing they taught… The right kind of teacher would have been priceless, still would be. Who didn’t know her/himself what is worth knowing… (But asking questions is surely worth knowing!) Seminary was the last stop on my education tour, and the questions that weren’t asked there came flooding at me when I stepped into the world of my first pastorate. “Don’t ask any questions I can’t answer!” is the first law of theology school–and of religion generally…

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You are right. Our schooling and education system in general are designed to train complying members, compromising on the individuality in interest for the society. But the real value always comes from individuals being authentic and unique, but that is not really encouraged. Some lucky people find a space to be themselves while young and growing up, and they become adults who know how to think for themselves asking the right questions. The rest carry on never questioning what they have been taught.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I was self-reliant from early on, and always regretted/resented not having more in the way of competent and compassionate guidance, or just someone who could listen with understanding to what I had to say. The right kind of environment is not something we contrive/produce on our own.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I had a friend, Bailey Phelps, who said I reminded him of someone who would leap out from behind a tree, exposing himself, to see if his victim would run away or could be trusted with knowing what I had to say. I have always felt that was an accurate appraisal of my situation. No fooling around! Let’s talk…

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a comment