Sex can be a lot of fun, but it can also get in the way. Sex has no necessary connection with intimacy-- though it is often referred to as "an intimate relationship." Too often, it is a way of avoiding intimacy. We go to sex to keep from being known. Being known in the Biblical sense is being concealed in the psychological/emotional sense. We will resort to anything to keep from being exposed/revealed-- when the true goal of life is to exhibit/reveal/incarnate/disclose/make known who we are and what we are about, what is ours to do. Hiding from that is detrimental to our health and well-being, and the end of life, though we might remain 98.6 and ambulatory for years. Intimacy is being seen, heard, known, to the heart and core of our being. Few of us have ever experienced that kind of intimacy. Yet, without it, we remain an enigma to ourselves. We have to be seen in a way that enables/allows us to see ourselves. To be heard in a way that enables/allows us to hear ourselves. To be known in a way that enables/allows us to know ourselves. Psychotherapy can do that, but the ease with which psycotherapy goes over into sex (Transference and Counter-transference) is evidence of the blurry nature of the line between intimacy and sex. And in which knowing and being known can be the heart of a thoroughly healthy sexual relationship. But, sex can also knock us off the track/path and out of the flow of knowing ourselves and being true to who we are and what is ours to do. Everything about sex and intimacy invites/requires/demands inquiry/investigation/examination/exploration/ awareness/enlightenment/illumination... so that we are not kidding ourselves, or telling ourselves what we want to hear. This gets us to the most important thing: Enlightenment/illumination/awareness/seeing/hearing/ knowing/understanding/doing/being. If we aren't doing that-- if everything we say and do is not an aspect of that-- we are kidding ourselves and concealing from ourselves the truth of our own being/doing. How do we knock ourselves off track? We have to be alert to all the ways, and catch ourselves in the act of blind-siding ourselves, using that as an entry point in unveiling another layer of refusing to face the truth of who we are and what is ours to do. We are our own worst enemy, and have to be alert to our own tricks of self-deception all of the time.
5 thoughts on “August 19-D, 2022”
Great read. Being yourself is one of the hardest things we face in life. It starts early in life. If your parents are trying to shape you to be something they envision, you are left confused , anxious? It’s not always easy to fight for yourself if your family views are very strict or if everybody around you acts a certain way and you can’t relate you any of them. Love is acceptance but acceptance is hard for most people. It takes a high degree of emotional intelligence to accept a parent who never accepted you for you you are. I am lucky to be able to say I know myself because I am myself and is that possible because my life partner is amazing and I always stayed true to myself.
Hope you have a great day.
Hi J! It’s good to be talkin’. Trusting ourselves goes back to the early days. I remember thinking “This is not right,” about some of the things the adults were saying, and trusting my sense of balance over against what they were telling me. It’s good to be able to sink into that still, after all this time. — “Another J”
Amen! Intimacy with oneself is as tough as intimacy with another. My cat provides great practice in paying attention to what I am doing.
Savvy like a cat would work for everyone!
Absence certainly makes the heart grow fonder.
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