When we live to integrate our opposites and express/incarnate/bring forth our original nature-- "the face that was ours before we were born-- our identity, who we are, our true self, and not to get something, attain something, have something, possess something, dominate something, win something, have something to show for having lived... When we live to serve our life and live the life that is truly ours to live, we live sincerely, authentically, without striving or contriving to exert our will upon the earth. And the trees welcome us, the meadows and the mountains recognize us as one who belongs there, the birds and the wild things are glad to see us coming, and we are one with all the world.
Alcohol and pot cloud our judgment, screw with our perception and mess with our ability to know what we are doing. Nothing like being high for being out of touch, groundlessly floating in free fall, laughing at all the colors and crying over everything. Critical assessment and careful evaluation take a leave of absence, and we are enthralled by the curled beauty of a discarded popped top. Or shift quickly into being suicidal at the empty prospects of our life. Reality becomes a quick change artist and we become a yo-yo and have to make ourselves unconscious just to keep breathing. Or stop breathing entirely-- there are times it doesn't matter which. So the first step for letting the mud settle and allowing the water to clear is De-tox Now! That's the hardest one. Not really. They are all the hardest one. That's the second step. We Have To Do What's Hard. No one can do it for us. What's hard is waking up. Then getting up. Then facing the day, and it's hard all the way. And we have only taken two steps! Check that. We are only taking two steps. We take all the steps-- and there are many more than 12-- simultaneously all the way every day. I don't think we can do it alone. That's the real blessing of A.A. We know we are not alone. Standing Up, Squaring Up, Facing Up, To A New Day And Doing It Sober Again. That's still the second step. If we didn't extend steps, we would run out of numbers, lose count and have to start over, and it's hard enough as it is. What keeps us going? The spiritual side of reality. Being a drunk is a great way to find that door! Everybody talks about God, God, God, but nobody knows God as the most intimate aspect of who we are who hasn't made that discovery crawling out of some equivalent of a bottle. So, I don't use the word "God." It is too crusted over with rusted layers of theology, doctrine, dogma, creeds, catechisms and other nonsense to be of any help to anyone ever. I use the word "Source," as in "The Source," to mean what I mean when I say "God." The Source is with us always, right there, right here, right now. Is always glad to see us. Is always ready to get to work, seeing, hearing, knowing, understanding what is happening and what needs to happen in response, doing what needs to be done with the gifts/daemon/genius/spirit/ virtues/character/vitality that came with us from the womb in the form of our Original Nature, which we access from the position of balance and harmony that comes from living in accord with the Tao-- the right way of doing what needs to be done in each situation as it rises-- and being at one with who we are, and with how things are, for the true good of the whole all our life long. That's the Source. The Source is the source of Yin/Yang, which are the vital opposites/dualities/contradictions at the heart of life and being. They are also called "The Mystery at the heart of life and being." Nothing is more mysterious than the unity-- the oneness-- of the contradictions/dichotomies/polarities/etc. that comprise our life, where good is bad and wrong is right, and the dualities all dance together like a perfect dance team, a couple who are two and one at the same time on a dance floor that could be called Life Itself. That is the Mystery at the heart of life and being. Which is the Source. That keeps us going. With all of our contradictions dangling from every pore daring us to find the courage to step into another day. It is possible to integrate our opposites after the manner of Rumi's "The Guest House" (Googleit), and take up the challenge of finding the good in this terrible, awful, no good, very bad mess we call our life, one day at a time.