Improving our relationship with ourselves improves our relationship with our life and with the people in our life, spontaneously, automatically, naturally. Carl Jung said, "There is within each of us, another, whom we do not know." It is not too late to begin getting to know who we also are. Getting to know who we also are is getting to know who we are. We begin by setting aside our opinions about who we are. We do that by not doing it. We do all of the important things by not doing them. It's a curiosity how to do something by not doing it. It is the most important thing to know how to do. We do it by not doing it. The trick with doing things by not doing them is getting out of the way and letting them happen in their own time, in their own way. Which means allowing them to not happen at all if that's what needs to happen. The trick is simply being aware of something that needs to happen without doing anything about it beyond being aware of it. We set aside our opinions about who we are by being aware of them without engaging them. By being aware of our thoughts and feelings without being engaged by them, without being hijacked by them. Without being emotionally stirred by them. Without taking them seriously. Letting them be part of the envronment without taking over the scene. And, if we are emotionally stirred by them, we become aware of that without acting on it, without doing anything about it beyond being aware of it. Not taking it seriously, Not allowing it to take over the scene. The situation. The moment. Hold it all in your awareness, and let it be because it is, and simply be with it, unmoved and unmoving. That's it. That's all. Carry on with your life. Doing what needs to be done, while holding in your awareness your opinions of yourself and your reactions to your opinions without permitting either to take control of your actions, your life. Go about your business as though nothing is going on, tucking everything into your awareness, going about your life, trusting that over time your opinions of yourself will lessen and gradually disappear by "just happening," without you doing anything to make it happen. You are improving your relationship with yourself by not doing anything to improve your relationship with yourself. You may find yourself laughing for no apparent reason, or smiling more, or humming as you go about your day. Signs, perhaps, that things are shifting.
Socked-in 10/28/2006 -- Washington, North Carolina, October 28, 2006 You can start with a game of Solitaire and create scenarios that could not have possibly occurred by chance, so that the ace of hearts appears at the very moment that the two of hearts is uncovered by the nine of clubs being moved to cover the ten of diamonds! Things like that don’t just drop out of the sky! There is a reason for everything! Something had to arrange for the precise way the cards were dealt! How else can you explain it? The explanation is that it is a game of chance. And "chance" is our term for a course of events that were locked into place from before we were born. When did things have to be the way they are? From the time our parents were born? Or from the time we picked up the deck of cards? Or from the time we shuffle them five times for luck? Or from the time we cut the stack and started dealing the hand? When was "chance" determined by the "ordinary course of events"? Grace works the same way. The things that "fall into place," "for no reason," are the things that could not be any other way than they are, given all that has gone before to bring "grace" to bear on our lives "out of the blue." The way things are is the way things happen to be because they couldn't be any other way. If they happen to be meaningful, it is because we make it so-- because of the way we see things, interpret things, look at things, consider things to be "meaningful" and "meaningless." We find meaning (or not) in the way the cards are played. In the way two people meet, fall in love, and marry, and say, “It was meant to be!” By whom? Why, by God, of course! (“God” is our way of saying, “It just happens that way!”). God arranges everything! Nothing like love and marriage could happen by chance! "It had to be predestined from all eternity!" Just like the face that was ours before our mother and father were born. We had rather believe in God than in chance. Or strict determination. If we find meaning in something, we have to find a reason for it. We have to posit a long line of cause and effect with the purpose of the ace of hearts appearing exactly when it did. When it is all a game of chance that was locked in from-- from when? The beginning, or before the beginning? And what we make of it all is up to us. And for what, or where it is going, we do not know. So, we have to keep playing the game, to see what happens next! And it all rearranges itself according to what we do on a whim, out of the blue, for no reason, and pick up the deck of cards. Where do whims come from? What is guiding our boat on its path through the sea?