The difference between having a way and having to have our way is the difference between being on the way and being off it. Having a way without having to have it is having direction and purpose without having to go that way and do that thing. Things come up. Things happen. We have to make adjustments and accommodations. We have to acquiesce and acknowledge a will and a way not of our own devising, and do things differently that we had intended. What is the source of the contrary force changing our choices out of the blue? It is simply the nature of things to be what they are. Everything happens in conjunction with, and in response to, something else that happens. Chains of events and circumstances move, shift, transform, come and go on a whim. Whose whim? Anybody's. Everybody's. Nobody's. Weather patters are always shifting to take a previous shift into account. So it goes with the ebbs and flows of life throughout space and time. Cause and effect are not carefully orchestrated and choreographed. And effect can have causes that are delayed over time. No one can take everything into account, or know what to expect when or where or for how long. There are too many intangibles to take into account. We have to make up our response to it as we go, dancing with the music as the bands trade places through time. No source. No reasons. Just this. Now. And something else, then. And we make the best of it always and forever, in a "Here we are, now what?" kind of way. It helps to have little in the way of agendas and opinions. If you know what I mean.
Carl Jung said, "A hermit is a primitive person who trusts their unconscious." He might have said, "An original person who is at home with their psyche." There is no greater boon or graver threat than an original person at home with their psyche. Enter the Buddha and Jesus. And those like them through the ages, including the shamans and the Taoists, Chief Seattle and Black Elk, and many of the witches drowned on a board or burned at the stake. The world doesn't know what to do with original people at home with their psyche. The boon is a threat. Lao Tzu climbed on his ox and rode into the west, a Chinese metaphor for going off to die. He tried to give people what he had to offer, and they wanted nothing to do with it. They kept saying, "Why don't you talk to us about things we can understand?" But they understood enough to know he was a threat to their way of life. And he shook the dust of his sandals as he left town as a sign against them (Or was that Jesus?). The boon is a threat. The gift is a two-edged sword. Life is death. If we can be okay with that, we will have it made. As made as a hermit has it with their psyche as their best friend for life in a world that has no clue, and doesn't want to have one.